


Dangerous

by xaphrin



Category: Teen Titans (Animated Series)
Genre: F/M, I mean I like AO3 better, There's probably porn in here, also I really like writing for this fic and I just want to share it across the board, because I am generally a hot mess, but I realize people like AO3 Better, if not hot makeouts, originally posted on FFN
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-13
Updated: 2019-03-13
Packaged: 2019-11-16 17:02:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 25,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18098480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xaphrin/pseuds/xaphrin
Summary: Going into his dreams and poking around was a dangerous thing, Raven knew that much at least. But she also knew that she had no choice... at least that was what she told herself the first time. But then she kept going back to him, and he kept searching her out, and the questions she thought didn't have answers, were turning into something worse. Slade was looking to use her again, and there was the very real chance he would succeed.





	1. Chapter 1

“Dreamwalking has a variety of useful purposes, Nightwing, but I can say, without a shadow of a doubt, that it was _not_ meant for this.”

Raven tapped her fingers on the metallic surface of his desk and looked up at her leader and friend, watching as he paced back and forth over the floor. His hands were shaking and he kept running his tongue over his lips, as if trying to taste an answer clinging to them. He looked almost harried, like he was on the verge of breaking at any moment, his desperation running so deep into his veins that he was nearly losing control of himself. Raven had seen this side of him before, but it had been so long ago that she had forgotten what it looked like. Her heart twisted at the sight and she sighed, her friend didn’t deserve this kind of torture.

If only Slade could have _stayed_ dead, they would have never found themselves in this predicament.

“I understand why you want to do this. Really, I do. And if this were any other person or any other situation, I would agree with you.” She rubbed the bridge of her nose and looked away, trying to be as tactful as possible. “But, Dick… think of all the things that could possibly go wrong if I agree. Think about the fact that I could very well find myself in an impossibly dangerous situation if I infiltrate his subconscious and something doesn’t go _exactly_ according to plan. If he perceives me as a threat-”

“I know how dangerous it is.” Nightwing whirled on her, slamming his fist on the table. He wasn’t angry with her, but with himself, knowing that he was asking Raven to put herself in a very precarious position. One wrong move and their cover would have been blown, and Red X wouldn’t take the blatant invasion of his privacy standing down. Nightwing just wished he had the strength and talent to do what Raven could, and she knew that. He heaved an echoing sigh and his head fell to his chest, staring at the floor as he spoke. “Raven… I know what I am asking from you is very, _very_ dangerous-“

She snorted incredulously, but let him continue.

“-but I also know that with what little intel we’ve gathered on Slade’s next move, nothing should be left un-investigated. His plan is in pieces and we’re looking for a way to bring it all together so it at least makes sense in a way we’re able to fight it. Slade is dangerous, and he likes to surround himself with dangerous people.”

Raven chose not to point out that Nightwing had been one of the people Slade surrounded himself with.

Nightwing licked his lips and sighed. “Red X has connections and friends that we might not even think about. I don’t want to do what I’m asking you, but if he knows anything – _anything_ – about what might be going on, we should at least investigate it.”

She scoffed. “By delving into his privacy? By violating practically every law known to justice? By putting myself and my subconscious in very real danger?” Raven’s head fell into her hands and she watched his shadow stop pacing against the floor. Her heart was slamming into her ribs as she realized Nightwing was honest. He truly _was_ worried about her, but his fear and determination far outweighed his desire to protect her. “I know that Slade’s threats and his little clues make you nervous, Nightwing, but I don’t know if I can agree to this. I don’t know if I can agree to do something so… _wrong_.”

“I know I’m asking a lot.” He didn’t apologize, just simply admitted he knew how wrong this all was.

A long stretch of silence slid between them, and Raven finally lifted her eyes to his own. She set her mouth into a thin line and leaned closer. “I’m going to learn his identity, you know that.”

Nightwing winced, and he clenched a hand by his side. “Yeah… I know.”

“So then, you must _also_ know that due to the circumstances under which I discover his identity, I won’t be able to tell you who he is, because I very, _very_ illegally obtained that information. And as much as we want to prosecute your dirty thief, I can’t tell you who he is.” Raven let her hands fall to the desk again, her stare relentless on his own. “This is going to eat you alive.”

“Saving the city is more important.” Nightwing sighed and dropped into the chair across from her. “I know that what I am asking you is a lot for you to handle, and I know the situation I am putting you in is not only dangerous, but morally wrong. I know that I can’t ask you to tell me who he is, but I _am_ asking you… _please_ , help me with this. Let’s see if he knows anything at all that can help us bring down Slade. That’s the most important thing that we address - that the city is safe, and we did everything in our power to save it.”

Raven sighed and shook her head, a small black, bubble of nervousness rising into her belly. This whole situation was far too dangerous, but Nightwing was so desperate… what could she do, but submit to him? He wanted to keep the city safe, but invading someone’s dreams to shake them for some kind of intel was not the way to go about this. Everything about this felt so utterly wrong, but she would do it because he asked her, and for the safety of the city.

“Alright. If that’s what you think is best, then I’ll go get ready.”

He breathed a long sigh of relief. “Thank you, Raven.”

Her stare flicked up to meet his own. “Just… don’t make me regret this.”

-

Preparing for dreamwalking was fairly easy, just a few spells and a special, herbal tea that tasted bittersweet and a bit sour. It used to be a spell that was far more common, but the concern and respect over privacy (even that of your enemies) made the spell a moral conundrum. She was supposed to be the one who rallied _against_ behavior like this, but here she was, _initiating_ it. And this was not an easy task in any shape, although she wished it was.

Knowing that she was going to delve into the minds of one of their more _peculiar_ enemies made Raven a bit nervous. It shouldn’t have bothered her really, in all their battles she had never sensed that Red X was a bad guy. He was selfish, a little pigheaded, kind of crass, and eternally looking out for “number one”, but Raven never sensed that he had any kind of real evil intention. For all intents and purposes, Red X was just kind of an asshole, end of story. But going into the rawest part of his emotions and feelings could prove something completely different. He could very well be someone far too dangerous for herself alone.

But Nightwing was desperate for information, and Raven was at his disposal, so she had nothing to do but do what she could for him.

She just hoped this didn’t backfire.

Raven closed her eyes and let her body sink into the softness of her mattress, her head growing heavy as the spell started to take effect. Dreamwalking was always a surreal experience, the emotions and sensations of a million creatures and being each vying for her attention, drawn to her powers. She could feel the the auras pulling at her with claws and teeth or soft caresses and secrets, and for a moment, Raven honestly believed that she might be pulled apart by how many there were. It was overwhelming, but she couldn’t let them control her.

Shaking off the feeling of millions of people reaching for her, she shifted and began searching, wading through all the souls, dreams, and wishes that existed from person to person. Minutes seemed to turn into hours until she felt _him_ , and not just _felt_ him but was _drawn_ to him, like a beacon. His aura was dark, a little bit cracked and broken, but there was light inside, light that was just begging to get out. When Raven touched it, it felt warm and soft, not at all like what she expected to live within him. And still, _that light_ , it wrapped around and pulled at her psyche, trying to get closer and closer. It was almost as if he was calling out to her, reaching for her attention across so many different planes of existence.

Barely hesitating against the strength of his emotions, Raven touched his aura and fell into him. A second skipped by before she felt herself disappearing into his emotions, landing somewhat unceremoniously in his dreams. Her head spun a bit and she shivered, trying to pull herself together before she investigated Red X.  

“You look like you could use a drink.”

Raven blinked, still feeling a bit disoriented as she looked around an old, empty bar, a jukebox in the corner playing classic rock songs. Licking her lips, she turned and looked into a maskless face, seeing ebony hair fall into too-bright green eyes, a lock of white hair mingling into the dark fringe. A scar near his jaw and a fading bruise on his neck were echoes of wounds that _had_ once been there, and Raven was certain that if she pulled his shirt up, she would see the marks of crowbar still burned into his skin like a brand. She twitched, and bit back a soft gasp as she realized _who_ Red X really was.

Nightwing was going to shit a brick if he ever found out.

“I… um, yeah…” Raven blushed and pushed at her hair, needing to do something with her hands to keep herself from losing her mind. She gave a weak laugh and forced a small smile. “Yeah, I think I could use a drink.”

_I could use the whole damn bottle._

“Hm. Well, let’s see what I’ve got… I’ve got whiskey, whiskey, and whiskey…” He leaned over the bar and snatched a glass and a bottle from the shelf, watching her expression in the mirror behind the bottles. “And if you’re not in the mood for whiskey, there’s always whiskey.”   

“With such a selection, I don’t know how I’m going to choose.” She took the glass from his hand and smirked, still unable to control her heart. “Whiskey it is, I guess.”

He chuckled and offered her his hand in a firm, pleasant. “It’s nice to see you again, Raven.”

“Thanks.” Raven forced another smile, trying to keep a hold on herself. “I’m always glad to be around.”

“I know.” He poured himself another glass and set the bottle down, staring into the amber liquid for a long moment. “You’re here a lot, Raven. I’m even beginning to remember your favorite song. I think. Sometimes I feel like you change it up just to keep me on my toes.”

Raven’s eyes widened just a little and she swallowed in surprise. Knew her favorite song? How often had he dreamt about her? Yes, _she_ was here right now, but that didn’t mean that he didn’t project an image of her as he slept. He could have easily made up some ideas about her in the back of his mind, using them to fuel his dreams. And, if that was the case, then how often _had_ he thought about her? And what did they do in his dreams? Although, judging by the way his lips curled at the edges, she was willing to bet it wasn’t just sitting and drinking good whiskey.

She blushed and looked away, taking a gulp of the burning whiskey in her hand, hoping to focus on anything _other_ than the sinful slash of his mouth.

“So…” Jason shifted on the barstool and smiled. “Did you want to pick the music tonight?”

She shook her head, trying to keep her mind pulled together and not dwell on the fact that Jason had dreamt of her before. If she did, she could very well mess up whatever mental image he had of her. If he began to suspect that she wasn’t _his_ Raven (whatever construct he had designed of her), her cover would have been blown and she would have been left with no way to get him to trust her again. “No, I actually came here hoping for some information.”

“Oh. That’s new. Usually you’re here to bitch about Gar or Dick. How are they by the way? I imagine Princess Bluebird is a peach as usual, and how many pranks did Gar pull on you this week?” He shrugged and poured them both another glass. “Actually, you know what? It doesn’t matter. I don’t really like talking about them anyway.” He took another sip. “Okay, shoot. What do you want to ask me?”

“I… um…” Raven stumbled over her words as she watched Jason’s hand slide over the bar and rest next to her own, barely rubbing the tips of his fingers over her hand. It was an intimate touch, something he had been trying to keep private, but all it did was make Raven gasp and her eyes flutter. Just _what_ was he doing to her? Even more than that, just _what_ did he dream about with her in it? She cleared her throat and tried to talk again, trying to decide if she should pull her hand back. “We’re looking for info on Slade, and we were hoping you might have had some answers or information.”

He snorted and took another drink, licking his lips as he pulled the glass away. “Pfft. Yeah, _right_. Even I think that guy is too psychotic for me, and _I_ fucking _died_.” He shook his head. “Unfortunately, I can’t help you out there, Little Bird-”

Her cheeks flushed at the nickname, but she chose not to point it out.

“-the only thing I can tell you is that I’ve been getting a few bits and piece here and there about him. Not much, but just enough to make my hair stand on end a little. From what I hear, he’s been trying to get a bunch of baddies together for some hullabaloo or something. It sounds pretty big and pretty dangerous, but I don’t know more than that.” He shrugged. “And I don’t know specifically _who_ he’s been talking to, and I don’t know what for. He hasn’t reached out to me, and I’d like to keep it that way. I wish I could help more, but that’s all I know.”

That was a little something at least, she sighed and downed the rest of the whiskey in a single gulp, feeling her head start to spin with the sudden booze. It might have been a dream, but in this world, the alcohol was very real to him, and Raven could feel its effects start to rub at the edges of her senses. “Well, thanks anyway. I appreciate it.” She stood up, but Jason grabbed her hand and pulled her back onto the barstool.

“You can’t leave just yet.”

Raven’s nostrils flared and she looked over at him. “W-what?”

“Come on, Rae. You know the rules, one kiss before you get to leave. That’s always been our agreement. I get a kiss, you get whatever you need off your chest…” He hummed, rubbing his thumb along his jaw. “But tonight I gave you info, so I think that’s earned at least _two_ kisses… maybe I even get to cop a feel.” He looked almost boyish, his grin lopsided and teasing, and Raven’s heart fluttered again. Just what in the world was he _doing_ to her?

The way he was looking at her seemed to make those echoes of scars fade and disappear, and Raven could see those same scars and bruises practically dissolve into fresh, clean skin as his fingers circled her wrist and pulled her closer. He didn’t look so tired or broken or damaged, he looked young again, playful, sweet, like he was finding solace and heaven in her. She shivered and her eyes met his again, watching as his stare turned almost hungry with each passing second. He stood up and moved closer to her, his hands leaving her arm to bury in her hair, and Raven watched more scars on his forearms and neck vanish as he rubbed his nose against her own. It was a surprisingly affectionate move, and she felt a little shiver run down her spine.

“One kiss,” she whispered, unsure of what she should do, but feeling her heart tremble and twist inside her chest. If she acted too out of character, it was very likely he would realize that this was _not_ the Raven he dreamt about. And if he realized that, it could destroy everything she had worked so hard at.

At least, that was the excuse she kept telling herself.

“Two if you’re good.”

“Oh, Little Bird, I’m _always_ good.” He leaned forward and pressed his lips against her own.

Raven’s eyes shot open as a bolt of lightning practically whipped through her, lighting the very edges of her soul on fire. Something in his kiss was damn-near addictive, and before she knew what she was doing, her hands found his hair and she buried her fingers into his locks. Her heart was no longer fluttering inside her chest, but it felt as though a chorus of timpanis were slamming against her ribs, pounding out a frantic, symphonic rhythm. A low moan rumbled in her throat, and her eyes closed and as she moved her mouth against his own.

Sparks snapped and crackled against their skin, and Raven felt lightheaded and dizzy as he continued to kiss her over and over and over again. Each movement of his mouth drawing out another sensation that made her forget everything she had come here for. His kisses tasted of whiskey and black cherries, and the flavor alone was sending her straight to heaven before dragging her back to the pits of Hell. It was all too much, too quickly, too… _everything_.

Shivering, she gasped as he pulled away, nudging his nose against hers again.

“You seem nervous.” He tugged her lower lip between his teeth and smiled. “You know you can trust me, Little Bird.”

Raven could do nothing except tremble in his arms. She was frightened by the intensity of him. She’d been kissed before, made out before, even had sex before, but _this_? This was something entirely different. This was something that threatened to consume her with lightning and fire and smoke and steam, and everything destructive before building her up into a new person she doubted she would recognize. Swallowing, she lifted her stare to his own and watched the echo of that final scar near his eye fade as he whispered her name again.

If this was what he did to her, what did she do to him?

“O-one more.” Her words were raw against her throat, and her hands slid down from his hair to rest against his chest. “One more kiss before I leave.”

“ _Just_ a kiss?” He brushed his lips over her own, eyes searching hers. “Or something more?”

She didn’t know what she wanted.

“Just a kiss...”

He moved closer to her again, his breath warm as he leaned in to kiss her again.

“...for now.”

Jason paused, grinning brightly as he pulled her back into Hell, letting her burn and writhe against him, and she succumbed to everything he offered. This should have been wrong in every sense of the word, but Raven couldn’t find it within herself to escape. He was finding comfort and solace in her, and there was something about him that kept her against his side. This was not what she had expected when she told Nightwing it was dangerous, but it was no less frightening.

Just _what_ was happening between them?

His mouth moved against hers again, and Raven forgot everything she had ever thought about, falling into his arms as he murmured her name into her lips like a brand.

Raven knew one thing: she was already giving into him, and she had no idea how to save herself.

  
  
  


 


	2. Chapter 2

“So… that’s it then?”

Raven tapped her spoon against her palm, not turning her stare to meet Nightwing’s. If she looked up into his face, it could very well happen that she would blurt out everything she knew. That Jason Todd was Red X, that his “brother” was still alive, and that apparently he had dreams about Raven. She could spill all of the information out if she wasn’t careful, so it was much easier to avoid Nightwing altogether.

“And what are we going to do about it?”

“What do you think we should do about it? The situation is pressing closer and closer with each passing day, and we’re no closer to figuring out what we should know.” Raven took a sip of her tea and began shuffling through the pages strewn out over the table again, looking for _anything_ to keep her mind off what was happening around her. “It’s clear that Red X knows nothing that would help us with _whatever_ Slade has planned. His subconscious wouldn’t be able to lie to me, at least not about that.”

Raven shivered at that thought, knowing that there wasn’t much Jason _could_ hide from her while she was in his mind - including his lecherous thoughts either. Her cheeks flushing bright red she flicked through a parts catalog that Cyborg had left on the table, pretending to be looking for a new part to the T-Car. It wasn’t much, but it was better than facing the guilt storming through her. _Anything_ was better than that.

“So, what? We just accept he knows nothing and move forward?”

His tone was curt and to-the-point, and it did nothing for her nerves. Finally, she looked up into his face and felt her heart twist. He was practically bursting with a million questions, each one clawing at him so hard that Raven thought he might spit it out with his morning coffee. Instead he continued to sip at his mug, staring out the window.

“He knows _nothing_? _Nothing_ at all?”

“That’s what he said. I relayed _all_ of the information given to me.” Raven looked back at the parts catalog and sighed. “I can’t give you anything more than what I know. If you want-”

“There _has_ to be more, Raven. He _has_ to know something!” Nightwing slammed the rest of his coffee before pouring himself another cup, grumbling under his breath. “He can’t say those things and _not_ know at least a little more than what’s already been said! He has to know at least one person we’re on… not _horrible_ terms with that we can question? Slade had to make at least _one_ slip up.” He rubbed his forehead with the heel of his hand and grunted. “This cannot be a dead end. There’s no way that this is the only lead we have and it just sort of stops with nothing more than a vague ‘I don’t know’. He’s _Red X_. I’m not stupid, Raven, I know he moves in circles.”

Raven let go of a breath she didn’t know she had been holding, and slowly looked back into his eyes. “Are you done?”

“Y-yeah…” Groaning, Nightwing sunk into the chair across from her. “Yeah, I think so.” He took another drink of coffee from his mug and propped his head up on his fist. “I just… Look, Raven… it’s a lot to realize that this is within my grasp and yet out of my control, and knowing that Slade might _possibly_ be up to something is enough to make me want to scream. I’ve nearly lost all of you to him before, and I don’t want to chance that again.”

“I understand.” Raven’s voice was soft, and she could feel the question hanging in the air, unspoken. She shifted in her chair, bringing her mug to her lips, and waiting for-

“Just one more time.”

Her eyes clenched shut and she let go of a slow, deep breath. “Nightwing…”

“I know I’m asking a lot. Hell, I shouldn’t be asking at all… but… one more time, Raven.” He let go of a soft curse, and his hand clenched at his side. “One more time, just to see if there’s _anything_ else that we can get from him. Any information he might have missed or anyone we can talk to or-”

“ _Nightwing_.”

He winced. “Raven, _please_?”

What could she do but give into his demands? Raven sighed and looked away, shaking her head. “The things I do for you, Dick Grayson.”

He smiled, his expression a little weak. “You’re going to do it then?”

“This is my _last time_.” Raven downed the rest of her tea and began picking up the loose papers and articles that were still upheaved all over the table. “I can’t keep going in there whenever I feel like just because we have the ability. Each time I go in he’s going to get suspicious of me as a person and we do not want to have a fight on our hands. Am I clear?”

“Yes.” Nightwing’s expression softened a little. “Thank you Raven.”

“Yeah, yeah… you owe me one, Boy Wonder.” She shook her head and sighed, knowing that she had just signed herself up for yet another long night tonight. Licking her lips, Raven felt Jason’s words start to trick down her spine, reminding her of just last night, like an echo still rumbling around in the back of her head.  

 _You know you can trust me, Little Bird_.

Raven winced, hearing Jason’s words reverberate through the silence of her mind. Trust him? She barely knew him, and he barely knew her. Taking a deep breath, she stared at the ceiling again and shook her head. Just what in the _hell_ had she gotten herself into?

-

The Stones were playing on the faded, sort of off-key speakers of the jukebox, humming along with the dust-filled air of the old bar. Raven stood in the doorway, her heart pounding and her hands shaking as she watched Jason hunch over the glass of whiskey in his hands. She knew this was wrong, she shouldn’t be invading his dreams again, especially when she had no real reason to be here - except for her own curiosity. This was private space, the place where his soul and body rested and healed. This was where he kept some of his darkest secrets, and she shouldn’t be parading through here like she had the right.

… and yet here she was, at the threshold of his mind all over again.  

His voice was pitched low as he sung along with few bars of the song. “ _...’cause I just can’t seem to drink you off my mind._ ”

She shivered, her hands wrapping tightly around the jamb of the door, unsure if she should stay or leave. Everything seemed to war within her, fighting against herself with every real and logical response she should have considered, but still... something strange and warm weaving in the raw edges of her soul pulled her closer and closer to him. Steeling what was left of her nerves, she took a long breath and stepped onto the old, wood floor.

“Hey.”

Jason’s back straightened at the sound of her voice and Raven watched as he turned around and looked at her, scars and bruises fading as she moved closer to him. That long scar curling around his jaw practically disappeared and his eyes brightened as they slid over the length of her form. A slow second skipped by before he smiled a genuine smile and leaned back against the bar, tapping his fingers along the ridges of his glass.

“Well, well… if it isn’t my favorite drinking partner.” He lifted his glass to his lips and took a long sip, stare never leaving his own. “So… what will it be tonight?”

Raven blushed just a little and she moved towards the bar, reaching over it to grab the neck of the whiskey bottle and a glass. She poured herself two fingers and set the bottle down on the bar. Jason lifted an eyebrow and smiled, watching her for a long, slow minute before taking the bottle and pouring another finger of whiskey into her glass.

“You look like you could use it.”

Raven chewed on her lower lip, unable to pull her stare away from his face. He looked almost boyish for a moment, playful and teasing, and Raven felt her heart melt just a little. Hands trembling just a little, she brought the glass to her lips and took a long drink. Her eyes never left his own as her lips wrapped around the smooth edge of the glass, and her heart beat out a frantic, alien rhythm as he watched her with something more than just mild curiosity or even interest. He watched her with utter fascination.

He leaned forward and rested his forearms on the bartop, closing the space between them as she took her last sip of the burning, amber liquid. His breath was warm over her skin, ghosting his emotions and intentions like little whispers that only they could interpret. When she pulled the glass away  from her mouth, he moved even closer, his lips finding her own in a desperate, whiskey-soaked kiss that burned and stung. Raven didn’t even have time to react, but she couldn’t stop the little moan in the back of her throat if she wanted to.

Her hands found his hair and she let him pin her back against the bartop, his chest pressed tightly against her own as his own hands palmed the curve of her hips. She moaned again, gasping into his kiss as he gave her just enough pause to catch her breath before dropping his mouth to her own again. Raven mewled back in her throat and pushed up against him, feeling the echoes of his scars disappear with each pass of his lips. He was erasing his past with each kiss, leaving him the man he wanted to be under his touch.

The song jerked to a stop and the raucous mechanical components of the jukebox changing records reminded Raven where she was. Shivering and trying to hold onto her sanity, she pulled back from the drugging sensation of his kisses and looked up into his eyes.

He smiled and nudged her nose with his own. “Sorry.”

“No you’re not.”

His lips pulled back into a smile that shattered the last bit of control she had. Jason’s hands tightened on her hips and he shook his head, his hair brushing against her skin. It was all so surreal, and Raven had to remind herself that this was a dream. There was a little part of her and desperately wanted this to be so very real, and she knew that was wrong. She was here for… for what exactly? She had told herself that it was because she wanted to try and gather more information from him, but she was only lying to herself. This visit was about so much more than just a info on Slade. This visit was because maybe - just _maybe_ \- she wanted to see him again.  

He hummed and his voice brought her back to the present.

“Yeah, you’re right. I’m totally not sorry.”

“You should be.”

“Yeah,” he said, his voice low as he pressed innocent kisses over her jaw. “I probably should be… but I’ll have to save that for next time.”

Raven let go of a soft moan, his teeth nipping at her earlobe. The Stones continued to play in the background, the words sliding in between the little bits of silence that existed between them. His hands slid up her ribcage, dragging the hem of her shirt up just enough to expose her belly button.

This was _so wrong_ , but Raven just couldn’t stop herself.

Raven was still reeling from his kiss, her head practically spinning as she tried to keep her breath steady. Pushing him away, she crawled back onto the bar stool and downed what few drops of whiskey were left in her glass. It burned painfully as it slid down her throat, but she found that there was something about the taste that kept everything at bay. She didn’t really want to drink it, but she knew that she needed something else to do with her mouth then kiss him like the world was ending tomorrow. She needed to do _anything_ other than that.

Jason dropped onto the other bar stool and propped his head up on his hand. “So, Little Bird, what brings you here this time? Trying to gather more info on Slade?”

Raven shifted, trying to clear her head of the sight of his too-bright eyes and half-cocked smile. She had to remember why she was here in the first place. Clearing her throat, she set herself down on the other bar stool and avoided his curious stare. “Do you _have_ any new info on him?”

“Nope.” He sat up and reached for the whiskey bottle still on the counter. “But, I’ve been keeping my ears and eyes open for you. There’s been a little talk, but it’s just out of my sphere, so not as much as I had hoped was coming my way.” Pouring them both another glass, his eyes flashed up to meet hers again. “But, I _am_ trying, and I promise to tell you everything I know the _second_ I hear it.”

Raven blinked, a shiver of shock curling down her spine as she watched him. There was something about his expression that reminded her that he shouldn’t be trusted, but she kept falling deeper and deeper into those sinful eyes of his. “That’s… surprisingly thoughtful of you.”

“Oh, don’t get me wrong, Little Bird…” He pushed her glass into her hands and gave her a smirk that looked positively devious, and Raven felt that little knot of curiosity and desire twist in her stomach again. He hummed under his breath, another scar fading near his lips. “I promise that I’m only doing it to earn another kiss from you.”

Her cheeks flushed and Raven felt her mouth move before she could stop it. “You don’t have to earn what I’d willingly give.”

Jason’s eyes brightened and he leaned a bit closer, plucking the whiskey out of her hands. She could practically smell the scent of whiskey and cologne mingling together to create something uniquely him. His nose brushed against her own, and he dropped his voice an octave as he spoke. “ _Willingly give?_ Raven, are you insinuating that you might actually like my kisses? Or that you might possibly have romantic feelings for me?”

“I said no such thing, and you know it.” She took the glass back from his hands, downing it in one gulp as she pushed at his shoulder, putting much-needed space between them. “You’re a good kisser.”

“Oh?” He cocked his head to the side and watched her intently. “Well, if that’s the case, you should see what else I can do with my mouth.”

Raven nearly spit out her drink and her cheeks flushed a bright shade of red. She tried desperately to hold onto the last threads of her sanity, gasping as she saw his lips curl over his too-bright teeth. He reached out and trailed his fingertips up her arm and over her shoulders, curling under her jaw as a strange fire burned brightly in the shadows of his eyes. He leaned closer and brushed his lips against her own, his breath ghosting over her skin with each second.

Raven’s eyelids fluttered and she felt herself wanting to make the space between them disappear. She wanted to feel his hands against her waist again, trailing up the curve of her ribs, underneath her thin t-shirt to her breasts. She wanted to feel every ounce of him taking complete advantage of her body, and she wanted him to be relentless. She wanted his kisses to move over her neck to her shoulders, down her body…

“You’re thinking awfully loud, Raven.”

She shivered as his lips brushed against her own again.

“What are you thinking about?”

She couldn’t form words for the thoughts flying through her head.

“I know what _I’m_ thinking about.”

Raven let go of a soft gasp as his fingers slid down the length of her neck to the curve of her breast. Her nipple peaked under his touch, pressing tightly against the lace of her bra. Everything in her mind suddenly seemed alight with color and sound and desire, and before Raven fully knew what she was doing, she surged forward again, her mouth desperately finding his own. Her mouth sealed with his, tasting every lewd and salacious thought still clinging to his lips, her tongue tracing his lower lip before finding the sanctuary of his mouth.

Jason groaned and pulled her closer, his hand cupping her breast as he continued to meet her kiss-for-kiss. Raven’s head was spinning as they both tried to outdo each other, looking to both lose and find themselves in this kiss. It was a desperate search and neither one of them knew how to stop looking. Her hands tangled in his hair and she pulled herself from the bar stool to his body. She could feel him cursing between kisses, his hands everywhere he could touch as each inch was extinguished between them, leaving nothing but their need.

_...just call me Lucifer, ‘cause I’m in need of some restraint._

Gasping and heaving, her head light and spinning, Raven pulled back and looked into his eyes.

She really needed to go.

She really needed to learn control.

But it was far too hard with him looking at her like… _that_.

“You should go.” His words were rough against the music still playing in the dingy, empty bar. Jason licked his lips as if still tasting her there, and raised his hand to her hair, twisting a few locks between his fingers. “Before either of us make decisions we regret.”

Raven shivered again, the weight of his words falling on deaf ears. “Regret?”

“Raven,” he hummed low in his throat, his hand tightening in her hair. “I _know_.”

“Know what?”

“You…” His lips brushed over hers again, whiskey still clinging to his breath. “You’re not a dream.”

  
  
  


 


	3. Chapter 3

Raven licked her lips, her heart pounding in her ears as he breath caught in her throat. His words echoed over and over in her mind, drowning out the music that was still rumbling along from the old jukebox. She had tried to be so careful and protect herself against his dream, but she failed in the end. Her cover had been completely blown and she had no way to save herself except for admitting the truth to him. “You knew it was… _me_? And not your projection of me?”

He took a step back and shook his head, laughing low in his throat. “Oh, come on, Little Bird. Of course I did.”

“How?”

His smile turned practically devilish and leaned close to her, brushing her lips lightly against her own. “Anytime I’ve asked for a kiss you’ve always told me ‘maybe next time’ without fail. Never once have you entertained my request.”

Raven winced, suddenly feeling that dark spot of foolishness blossom in her chest. “So, you knew it was really me because I actually kissed you?”

“Essentially.” Pulling away from her, he cocked his head to the side, and Raven could feel his inquisitive stare practically burn into her skin. He was trying to figure her out and break her apart, to justify what he had done with her in the sanctuary of his own dreams. That kissing her the way he did was just a moment of curiosity and weakness, not a display of his own emotions.

After a long moment, he shook his head and let go of another bark of half-hearted laughter. “To be honest, Raven, I don't think I knew how to fantasize about your kisses. Everytime I tried to imagine them, they were never quite right… never quite… _you_.” His stare flicked down to her lips and he smirked. “This taste perfectly suits you though. You taste like secrets and magic and whiskey and shadows and…” He trailed off, his smile turning positively _sinful_ , and Raven knew _exactly_ what he wanted to say in the silence he left.

Her face flushed and she glared at him. “You’re absolutely crude!”

“Oh?” He lifted an eyebrow and stared at her. “Well, _I’m_ not the one prying into my personal fantasies about making out with a Titan Hottie.”

Raven’s anger flared and she could feel her powers start to bubble up inside her. He had always found the perfect way of digging _right_ under her skin. “I cannot believe you! You dream about _that_ with me?”

“With you? Yes. No. Well… not exactly. It’s complicated with you.” He laughed and leaned back against the bar, eyes piercing through her. “With Starfire and Jinx? _Yeah_. But you…” He shrugged and shook his head. “Like I said, I can never get the details just right. What you sound like. What you taste like. What you _feel_ like. Or even what kind of underwear you’re wearing.” Pause. “Curious minds want to know, Raven, thongs, bikini, or granny panties?”

All of the blood left her face and she glared. “You’re a cad!”

“I’m a lot of things, Raven. You should know _at least_ that much.” His lips pulled down into a frown and he crossed his arms over his chest again, the humor suddenly leaving him. “And I may be a ‘cad’, but _you’re_ the one poking around in my dreams without my permission, pretending to be my little fantasy of you. You’re the one using me for your stupid gains without any regard to the _person_ inside these dreams. So, who’s crude now?”

A pang of guilt struck her before it was replaced with anger. “You can’t blame that on me, Jason.”

“Can’t I? I mean, _really_ , Raven. ‘Looking for info on Slade’s next move’? That’s the best excuse you could come up with? I would have thought that your resident Bird Brain would have at least strived for something a little better and more reasonable.” He rolled his eyes. “Next thing you know, he’s gonna start having you read my mind to try and gather secrets.”

“Dick wouldn’t do that.”

Jason snorted and turned back to the bar, pouring himself another glass whiskey. “Oh, he wouldn’t, would he? That’s a crock, and you know it. You’ve seen first hand accounts of when he’s bent the rules to suit his own gains, Little Bird. You know that he’ll do whatever it takes to uphold is skewed sense of justice.” He growled into his glass and looked over at her. “So, tell me, how did he react when you told him who I was. I bet the little boy scout let off a string of profanities so loud you could hear them from the moon.”

Raven’s eyes widened and she shook her head. “I didn’t.”

He stilled, his eyes narrowing on her. “Didn’t _what_?”

“I didn’t tell him.”

There was a long pause of silence, as if Jason couldn’t quite believe what she was saying to him. His lips twitched and his hands tightened around the glass, as if he was struggling with what he should say to her next. Seconds ticked by, turning into long minutes where neither of them knew how to proceed with the conversation, and so they let the frayed ends of their words dangle in silence. The Stones gave way to Led Zeppelin, and Raven shivered as the low guitar washed over them.

_If it keeps on raining the levee’s gonna break…_

Finally, Jason licked his lips and spoke softly. “You didn’t tell him about me?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

Raven shifted, the question hanging in front of her and taunting her. Why _didn’t_ she tell Nightwing? She should have. She should have told him everything that happened, regardless of the legality concerns or her moral obligation. Jason Todd was Red X and based on that information alone, Nightwing had a right to know the truth. But Raven didn’t tell him. She kept Jason’s secret, but _why?_ What purpose did it serve? What good did it do her to keep secrets from her best friend and leader.

And then it hit her.

“It… it’s not my secret to tell.”

Jason’s eyebrows lifted. “You kept my secret because it wasn’t yours?”

“It’s not my secret to tell,” she repeated, a little more forceful this time.

Quickly, she closed the space between them and felt her emotions bubble back up to their fervid heat again. They were still angry at each other for varying reasons, and even though she had kept his secret and he at least _appeared_ grateful, they were still mad at each other for very good reasons. And Raven was not going to let him try and win a fight because she had felt some sort of skewed obligation to keep his secret. Although, Raven did have to admit that her “obligation” was very likely the product of his kisses, but she’d be _damned_ if she told him that.

Jason seemed to pick up on her aggressive advances and he stood up onto his feet, looking down at her with a snarl. “You think that because you kept my secret from your Bird Brain that is absolves you of the fact that you _paraded_ through my dreams pretending to be my fantasy of you? Because it _doesn’t_ , Raven.”

“I never said it did!” She snapped her teeth and pushed closer to him, feeling that anger still his and spit inside her. “And you know I didn’t want to do this!”

“Then you shouldn’t have done it!” Jason snarled and growled at her again, his eyes dark and practically wild.

There was something inside him begging to be released and set free, but he tried to desperately to keep a handle on it. In the shadows of his face Raven could see that he was upset, but not angry. He was upset that he let her get so close, upset that he let her get under his skin, upset that she had discovered his identity, but he wasn’t _angry._ It was almost as if he were relieved that he had someone he could share his experiences with and simply _talk_ to. Even if, at this current moment, the ‘talking’ was more of yelling.

“You shouldn’t have gone into my dreams when he asked you! But you did.”

Raven watched as he poured himself another glass of whiskey, her eyes shooting down to his hands wrapped around the bottle. She had expected to see that his anger and darkness made the the echos of his scars reappear, but it didn’t. She believed that once he lost control of himself or the dream that the bruises and scabs would have returned in full force, but his skin was still smooth and his eyes clear. He was still everything he had been when he first kissed her last night and tonight. He was still healing with her around, and that confused her the most out of everything that had happened.

Anger still surging through her veins, Raven reached out and grabbed the glass of whiskey from his hand, downing it in one gulp. “We’re not finished, so stop turning away from me.”

“I’m not drunk enough for this conversation.” He snatched the glass back and poured another, stare narrowing at her. “You’ve really pissed me off, Raven.”

“This isn’t my fault!” She repeated. “I’m just following orders.”

He gnashed his teeth at her. “Including kissing me senseless? Was that part of your ‘orders’ as well? To string me along?”

“String you along? Kissing _you_ senseless?” Raven’s cheeks flushed and she looked up at him, completely befuddled. Her anger was starting to ebb away again, leaving her with her heart pounding in her chest, slamming against her ribs over and over again until she couldn’t even hear her own breath. What in the world was he saying to her? “I… what are you talking about?”

He downed the glass of whiskey and glared, seething under his skin as he watched her. “What am _I_ talking about? What do you _think_ , Raven?” He poured another glass, but before he could finish it, she snatched it from his hand. He snarled and watched her drink it, cursing under his breath. “I’m talking about the feel of you against me. I’m talking about your kisses. I’m talking about the way you look at me… the way you _are_ looking at me. I’m talking about every little damn nuance that you don’t even notice.”

He let go of a short bark of laughter and snatched the glass back from her hand, slamming it on the table. Instead he took the bottle and brought it to his lips. “I’m talking about… _this_.” He waved to the length of her body. “The way you make me... And I’m talking about the fact that all of that was just a goddamned ploy, because all you’re _really_ doing is following orders.“ He snapped his teeth again and turned away from her. “ _Whatever_.”

Raven kept silent, her words not quite escaping her throat. She swallowed and stared at his back for a long moment, not quite approaching him. His words confused her, and if she dwelled on them for too long, she knew she might lose herself. Instead, she moved closer to him, sitting on the bar stool and staring at their reflection in the mirror behind the empty whiskey bottles. Silence filled the room until he looked into the reflection of her eyes with a reserved, strangled sigh.

“I’m fucking pissed off at you right now.”

She lifted an eyebrow, but said nothing.

“But you should at least know that I can’t deny you anything.”

Her stare flicked to the last bruise on his neck, now fading into nothingness.

“So, if you want me to investigate whatever Slade is doing, then I will investigate whatever Slade is doing.” He took another drink from his glass. “I will go out there and try to get you answers to the best of my ability and bring you back whatever information I have. But for _you_ , Raven. Not for Dick, not for your team, not for any one of those kids you call honorary Titans - _you_ and only you. Do I make myself clear?”

She nodded.

“Good.” He finished his whiskey and turned to look at her. “Then, let’s shake on it.”

She shook her head. “No, not shake. We’ll kiss on it.”

He shook his head and rolled his eyes. “I can’t deny you anything,” he repeated, his voice softer. Jason leaned forward and rested his forehead against her own, looking down into her eyes with a smile playing on his lips. “Soft or hard, Little Bird?”

“ _Hard_.”

His smile widened. “Hard it is then.”

Without another word, his eyes closed and he pulled her small frame against his own, crushing her lips with a kiss that threatened to break her. Raven’s hands clung to the front of his shirt and her blood sang in her veins as he stole every last part of her soul from her. He kept kissing and kissing and kissing until her lips felt bruised and her head felt light and everything around her was spinning out of control.

And yet she still wanted more.

She still wanted him to consume her. To ravage her. To possess her. And the truth was, she didn’t understand why, nor was she sure if she really wanted to find out.

… _cryin' won't help you, prayin' won't do you no good._

  
  
  


 


	4. Chapter 4

Raven sat on the end of her bed paging through a few case files that Nightwing wanted her to look over. It was boring, menial work which he considered some kind of an apology for making her go into Jason’s dreams twice. He felt bad about making her do something she was clearly morally against, which was something at least. But his apologies _sucked._ He had no clue how to say “sorry” and this was his way of trying to make amends. So, rather than sending her out on a mission or parole or giving her something to do that had some kind of substance, he made her sift through old work, page by page, because ‘it was like a vacation’. _How nice_. She could honestly say that this was the stupidest vacation she had ever been on.

She flicked her eyes up to the clock next to the window and sighed, rubbing her forehead. She’d been at this for three hours straight and she wasn’t getting anywhere. Honestly, she thought she might actually go mad if he kept her pent up in the tower anymore. Raven had barely seen the outside in two days, and if she had to look at any more old ex-cons, then she might actually murder someone. She was completely and utterly _bored_ and there was no end in sight. Growling, she snapped the manila folder shut, setting it to the side. How much longer was Robin going to bench her as a pathetic excuse for ‘I’m sorry’?

Raven closed her eyes and took a few breaths, trying to calm herself down for just a moment. Her skin felt like it was itchy, pulling and tugging at her as she sat in the quiet, buzzing silence. She shifted her hips, hearing them pop and crack from being still for far too long. She needed a break to find _anything_ else to do. Maybe she could go for a run on the treadmills downstairs, or maybe she could pop over to her favorite store and find a new book. Really, she needed to get up and move and do _something_ to keep her mind and body occupied. If she sat here in this silence for too long her mind would wander back to…

Her mind was filled with the sound of a breathless curse.

Raven’s heart skipped a beat as she became helpless against  the memory of Jason’s last kiss. Her lips tingled and her fingers began to shake, and it felt as though the world was quickly spinning around her. Blood rushing through her veins, Raven lay back on the mattress and stared up into the ceiling, hoping that maybe she could control this feeling, but she knew it was too late.

Everything felt like it was slipping from her grasp, like she was losing herself to the unfettered thoughts in her mind. Her breath caught in her throat and Raven imagined his hand in her hair. She remembered the burning scent of whiskey clinging to him as his fingers threading through her strands, and the way he muttered cursed between his kisses. He pushed her up against the bar, mouth relentless over her own, searching for solace in her kiss.

Jason was so… _dangerous_. There were parts of him that were darker and unrestrained, more so than she could have imagined, and she knew that if she had stayed any longer, her decision-making skills would have been thoroughly compromised.  Of all the people that could have had that effect on her, it had to be _him._

Raven shivered and she swallowed lungfuls of air, trying to keep her body grounded and on this plane of existence. _Azar_ , what in the world was she _doing_?

“Knock knock?”

Raven picked up her head to see Jinx standing in the doorway, a thin, almost playful smile sliding over her lips. Raven breathed a sigh of relief at seeing her friend. Thank god, a distraction. _Anything_ would have been better than reliving that kiss over and over and over again. Raven pursed her lips and sat up, watching Jinx enter her room.

“Jinx?”

“Hello, Princess of Darkness. Miss me?” Jinx grinned, her smile nearly filling her face.

“Barely.” Raven snorted, shaking her head. “I haven’t seen you in a while, what’s up?”

“I’ve been out for a bit.” Jinx picked through Raven’s room, pretending to be interested in some of the books and artifacts that lined the walls. “You know, helping Wally with a few things over in Central City. I didn’t think I’d be gone for so long, but… there I was, in Central City, with his _family_. Ugh. Do you know how many family dinners that boy has? I swear it’s like every time I turned around there was someone else I had to be nice to. I cannot believe the amount I smiled. _Smiled_ , Raven. He better remember this.” She waved her hand between them, as if she knew she was launching into a tangent she didn’t want to go on about. “Anyway, I’m here because Wally told me you’d been benched as an apology? Tough gig.”

Raven didn’t even bother concealing her annoyed sigh, rolling her eyes. “Tell me about it. I’ve been going through these old case files for the last few days because he thinks paperwork is like ‘a mini-vacation’ - and those were the exact words he used.” She pushed a few stray locks of hair from her eyes. “I feel like a mess, and I’m so _bored_. I don’t see how he considers this is an apology, but Dick thinks it makes up for the nonsense he put me through.”

“Ouch.” Jinx winced a little and sat down next to her on the bed, moving the files out of the way. “So, what did Boy Blunder ask you to do this time? Cast a spell on someone? Read someone’s personal thoughts? Taught him how to spy on Starfire when she’s in the Women’s locker room?” She tapped her fingers on her lower lip, pretending to think. “Oh! Teach you how to spy secretly on the _boy’s_ locker room? I wouldn’t be surprised if he plays for both teams.”

Raven laughed as she pushed at her shoulder and rolled her eyes. Her mood was beginning to lighten just by being around Jinx. As much as Jinx could annoy Raven sometimes, having her around made things easier. Jinx was… _fun_ , actually. Although admitting that was hard, but Raven couldn’t deny it. Jinx was the opposite of her, playful and bright and crass, and there was something about that she admired. Jinx, in spite of her flaws, really was a good person, although she was wont to prove otherwise.

“Tell me I’m wrong. Tell me that you don’t think he’d consider dating Gar if he had the chance.”

Raven lifted an eyebrow and just stared at her, trying not to laugh.  

“Anyway…” Jinx waved her off and cocked her head to the side, her stare sharp and pointed. It was as if she could see the answer to a question she hadn’t even asked yet. “Care to tell me what’s got you pulling file-clerk duties this week? What _did_ Little Boy Blunder do this time that he give you the ‘nicest’ apology he could muster?”

Raven sighed and shook her head, picking at the hem of her shirt. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

Jinx lifted an eyebrow and smirked. “Oh? That bad?”

“It’s… _complicated_.”

“Things are always complicated with you. I swear it’s like a little badge you wear on your shirt everyday, Raven. ‘Hello, My Name is: Complicated’. And while I don’t know the _exact_ specifics of what happened, I have a strange, sneaking suspicion that it somehow concerns… _this_.”

Raven looked up and watched as Jinx opened her purse and pulled out a black box tied with a silver ribbon, a note attached. The silver ribbon caught the thin light of Raven’s room and practically _sparkled_ at her. That was a _gift_. Oh no. Heart jumping into her throat, Raven looked from Jinx to the present and then back again.

“So, _hello, Complicated_. I have a delivery for you from Unexplainable.” She dropped it in Raven’s lap, practically giggling with barely-contained delight. It was almost as if she was _cackling_ like the witch she was. Jinx pitched forward and pressed her face close to Raven’s “I had a friend give it to me with precise instructions to make sure you received it.”

Raven’s heart began to slam against her chest as she looked at the box. “Jinx… who is this from?”

Jinx continued to smile. “Open it.”

“I’m serious.”

“So am I. I am under orders not to leave your side until you open the box. So…” She reached out and grabbed a tail of the silver ribbon, pulling it loose with another cackle. “…open the gift, Raven. Let’s see what your little admirer got you. I’ve been dying to know since he gave it to me.”  

“ _He?_ ”

“Don’t play dumb, Raven. You know there’s only _one_ person who would jump through ridiculous hoops just to give you something.”  

The flash of too-green eyes filled her mind again and Raven forgot how to breathe. Her hands were starting to shake again and all she could think about the the flavor of his whiskey-soaked kisses, and the heat of his touch, and the callouses on his hand, and the muttered profanity as he tried to keep distance between them. But it was too late, and they both knew it. Distance was no longer an option. Raven’s stomach turned and twisted, and she reached out for the card tucked under the ribbon. Maybe… maybe she was wrong? Maybe it was just a misunderstanding and maybe this _wasn’t_ a gift?

She pulled the card from the envelope and read the untidy scrawl.  

_It’s mate is at the bar, waiting for you when you’re ready. - J_

Oh god. He really _had_ given her a gift. Jason gave her a _gift_. What in the world was going on between them? How did she approach this? How was she supposed to handle _any_ of this? Here was a man she barely knew, but he _clearly_ dreamt about _her_ in ways he hadn’t fully explained, and now he was giving her gifts. This situation couldn’t be any more surreal if she tried. They had fought the last time they saw each other, and Raven wasn’t entirely sure if either of them came out of that fight unscathed. Her teeth came out to chew on her lower lip, and Raven glanced back at Jinx, watching her roll her eyes.

“Are you going to open it or _what_?”

With a strange feeling of both reverence and fear, Raven unwrapped the box and looked inside. There, sitting nestled in black and red tissue paper was a single, finely cut crystal whiskey glass. A _Waterford_ crystal whiskey glass to be exact. Her cheeks flushed and she looked into Jinx’s face, her friend’s expression saying practically _everything_ she needed to know.

“Wow… _Waterford_. I mean. I always knew that Jason had good taste, but I just never realized how easily smitten he could get. It’s almost cute.” Jinx grinned and pitched forward, her smile turning devious. She reached into the box and pulled out the glass, holding it up to the light as if she was inspecting it. She glanced at Raven before handing it back. “Well… are you going to tell me the details of what happened, or are you just going to to sit there and let me guess?”

Raven flushed brightly and took the glass back, returning it to the box. “It’s-”

“Complicated. I _know_ , you keep reiterating that fact as if it’s the only thing you know how to say, Raven.” She waved her off and shook her head again. “Don’t worry, Jason recounted the whole thing to me… minus the fun, juicy details of course. He told me all about how Boy Blunder in a desperate attempt to figure out what is going on in the world of villains, had you skipping through Red X’s dreams and _surprise!_ It’s his little brother, Jason.”

Raven snorted, looking down into the whiskey glass. “I’d hardly call him _little_ anything.”

“I’ll say.” Jinx cocked her head to the side, a far-off, wistful look filling her eyes. “You know, we used to hang out a lot a few years ago, when I was… less morally employed. And let me tell you, sweatpants don’t hide a thing.”

“Jinx!” Raven’s cheeks flushed and her eyes widened. “That was _not_ what I was talking about.”

“But now you are.” Jinx grinned, her laughter filling Raven’s usually silent room. “Now you’re thinking about his not so little-”

“Jinx! Seriously!” Raven was trying not to blush like she had never heard her friend talk in such a filthy manner, and now she was _desperately_ trying not to think about Jason in sweatpants. Trying, and failing. Miserably. She pursed her lips and pitched forward, resting her hands on her knees as she took deep breath to calm her suddenly shaking nerves. “Is there a point to your visit, or are you here just to rile me up and make me think about _that_?”

“Think about what? Jason’s god-gifted, giant-”

“ _Jinx._ ”

“Okay, okay. Other than playing messenger for Jason, and coming to see your beautiful, smiling face… I _did_ have a reason for our little visit.” She snatched the card from Raven’s hand, tapping it against her lips. Her eyes brightened again and jerked her head to the door. “I thought I should get you out of the filing cabinet for a while and I’m going to take you on an _adventure_.”

Raven’s face fell. “ _An adventure?_ ”

“Mm-hm. We’re heading out to The Lost Lamb.”

Raven’s eyebrows knitted together. “The Lost… what?”

“Lamb.” Jinx looked _devious_ at this point, and she stood up, spinning around to meet Raven’s curious expression. “It’s a gross, seedy bar on the wrong side of town by the docks and you’ll _never_ guess who the owner is…”

Raven flushed, her heart picking up speed again. She really wasn’t thinking about taking her to see him, was she? It was one thing to meet each other in the privacy of his dreams, but it was an entirely different matter to see him in real life. What in the world would she possibly _say_ to him? What would he say to her? It was a complete disaster waiting to happen, and raven knew that. No amount of convincing from Jinx would change her mind.

Raven shook her head. “Jinx, no.”

“Jinx, _yes_.” Jinx put the lid on the box and tucked it under her arm. “You’re benched, Raven, not on house arrest. You can leave the tower, see other humans, be somewhat sociable. And you are more than able to head out and maybe grab a beer or two with me - a fellow Titan. Come on, it’ll be fun.”

“Jinx… I don’t think this is a good idea.” Raven took another, slow breath, trying to calm her nerves. Jinx could _not_ think that this was a sound, logical idea, Raven had to believe that this was some kind of terrible joke. It _had_ to be.  “In fact, in the history of bad ideas that you and I have had over the years, I think this one ranks _way_ up there. Possibly number two, if not number one.”

“Oh, come on, Raven. You’re being ridiculous. You don’t want to see the man whose dreams you’ve been parading around in? _Please_ , we’re friends, and I know when I can see that little glint of curiosity in your eye. And I know that you’ve been thinking of him nonstop for the last few days, and reliving that little _kiss_ over and over and over again. And-” She paused to tap the box under her arm. “-you really _should_ thank him for such a nice gift. I mean _Waterford_ , am I right? He certainly has nice taste.”

Raven swallowed, trying to focus on what Jinx was saying and not on the blood rushing through her veins. “Someone could see us.”

“Raven, we’re magic users.” Jinx rolled her eyes. “If either of us can’t formulate a proper glamour spell, I’ll eat my own underwear. Hell, I’ll eat _your_ underwear.”

Her heart was going to jump out of her chest any minute now. “It’s dangerous.”

“And saving the planet from the forces of evil on a daily basis isn’t dangerous?” Jinx snorted and shifted the box under her arm. “ _Now_ you’re just making up excuses.”

Raven set her jaw and reached for the folder by her side. Her excuses were becoming more and more pathetic as she realized that she was eventually going to give into Jinx’s idea.  “I have work-”

“You have file-sifting.” She picked up Raven’s hand and pulled her off her bed, dragging her to the closet. “Apologetic file-sifting nonetheless. You can afford a few hours drinking a glass of whiskey and staring into a pair of eyes so green you’ll lose your damn mind.”

Raven just stared.

“Okay, I can see that _fun_ doesn’t seem to get your gears running.” Jinx sighed in defeat and started working her way to Raven’s closet. “So, instead of calling it fun like it _should_ be, let’s call it a… a _recon_ mission. It’s a seedy bar, there’s probably _some_ kind of chatter going on, so… there’s nothing that says we _shouldn’t_ go and maybe pick up a few tips. And, if there’s anyone who might have heard something, I’m going to guess it’s the owner. We’ll just pop by and ask a few questions. Just a recon mission, Raven. Does that suit your moral high ground better?”

Raven said nothing, but watched as Jinx pushed open her closet doors.

“I’m going to interpret your silence as an indication that you’re considering my proposition.” Jinx grinned. “Now... for the love of _god_ , don’t you own anything that isn’t blue?”

  
  
  


 


	5. Chapter 5

War, children. It’s just a shot away. It’s just a shot away.

Raven cringed at the smell of stale beer and the blaring sound of the Rolling Stones that assaulted her senses. She shivered and paused at the threshold, trying to sort out all the noise and scents and sights that were flooding in from the dimply lit room. The space was made of crumbling brick walls that had faded band posters that were _very_ likely covering bullet holes, and off-balance bar tables were propped up with what appeared to be folded and balled up pages from a not-so-gently used bibles. It was just another mark of sin in a room that Raven had no right to be in.  

She swallowed and took a half-step back, realizing quickly that she should not have let Jinx talk her into this, but it was already too late. Jinx grinned next to her, her smile flashing like lightning in the smoky darkness, and Raven felt a jolt of her magic zap at her lower back, forcing her to pitch forward and stumble into the bar. It was too late to turn back now. Raven turned and caught the sight of her glamoured self reflected in the dingy glass of a window, and she briefly wondered who the dirty-blonde girl was.

Jinx slipped through the crowd, nearly _flitting_ through people as if she knew them like friends. Although, to be fair, she _might_ have considering Jinx’s less than honorable beginnings. Raven followed her slowly, careful to avoid the stares and ignore the catcalls of the men and women who watched her. A few of the patrons she recognized as low-level criminals fresh out of jail, and a few of them she didn’t know at all, although it was likely that she would learn their names soon enough.

Raven made her way to the bar at the back, looking at the small, dark-haired boy who was cleaning glass mugs, a white bar towel hanging off his shoulder. He glanced up at her, his lips twitching in annoyance.

“Really?” He snorted and slammed a glass on the bar top. “A _glamour_ spell?”

Raven flushed, knowing that if this boy worked with Jason, it was _very_ likely he’d been trained to recognize all kinds of hiccups - magical or otherwise. Jinx sidled up next to her and set the box with the whiskey glass on the bartop. She rested her hands on the smooth aged wood and grinned as if she didn’t have care in the world… or she was just trying to goad him. The latter seemed more likely.

“You’re, pretty smart for a kid.”

His eyes narrowed at her teasing and he slammed another mug onto the bar. He might have been small, but there was an air of serious about him, and Raven knew that it was probably a bad idea to antagonize him. Jason surrounded himself with powerful people, and this boy was obviously no different. She tapped Jinx’s elbow and stared into her friend’s face, waiting until Jinx finally returned to some semblance of being _polite_.

“Well…” Jinx began again, offering him a flippant wave. “Anyway, we can’t have you-know-whats running around in a bar for lowlifes and rabble-rousers. I don’t think it would go over well with your current customers to see a couple of ladies who err on the side of righteousness.” She leaned forward and propped her head up in her hand, staring intently into the boy’s bright, blue eyes with a teasing, soft smile. “Right?”

His lips twitched again. “Are you always this annoying, Jinx?”

“Mm… only when the situation deems necessary, and since you are being about as welcoming as a storm, I think _this_ particular situation requires the full force of my _charming_ personality.” Jinx cocked her head to the side and hummed, stare continuing to flick over the planes and curves of his face. “Besides… I can’t say I recognize you. I thought I knew all of Jason’s friends, good and… _otherwise._ ”

“You wouldn’t know me.” He scoffed. “I’m… _new_. I guess.” He shuffled a bit, and Raven could see a scar slither down his neck and into the collar of his shirt. There was something about the scar that told her he was dangerous, but also that he was holding a secret that only a few people knew the full truth about. That scar was a mark of something else, but she knew better than to pry.

Jinx pursed her lips. “So, do you have a name to go with that _charming_ personality, or…?”

He sighed in defeat, as if he knew arguing with Jinx would get him exactly _nowhere._ “Tim.”

 _Tim?_ Raven blinked, her heart slamming against her chest as she watched the sight of his too-blue eyes flick around the room, watching the patrons. She licked her lips and tried to sort through the information in front of her. She had heard of Tim before, but only in passing and in half conversations from Nightwind. Tim was Batman’s newest protege, a genius by all accounts and incredibly skilled for a Robin… and yet he was _here_ , working in a seedy bar. And not just _any bar_ , a bar owned by another former Robin. Raven’s lips twitched as she fought to hold in the plethora of questions that seemed to bubble up from the back of her throat. What _was_ he doing here? Was he here because of Jason?

“ _Tim_?” Jinx shook her head and sighed. “Of all the _possible_ names you could be named… _Tim_.”

“If it makes you feel better, you can call me _Timothy._ ” His eyes narrowed again, and a muscle in his jaw ticked. “Or, you can do us both a favor, and you could just not say anything at all.”

“Ooo. So, sassy.” Jinx gave him a lopsided smile. “I think we’ll get along just _fine_ , Timmy-boy.”

He cursed under his breath. “Please, don’t go to the trouble.”

A second skipped by and he finally turned to stare down into the box Jinx had placed on the bar. He plucked the lid off, and pulled out the crystal glass, raising it to eye-level, as if he wanted to be sure it was real. The dingy, faded light flecked and spun around the crystal, casting little bright sparks of colored light between them. Tim took a long moment, inspecting the glass before setting it up on a shelf near the top of the bar - right next to the other one. Another few seconds passed in tense silence as all three of them just simply stared at the glasses, knowing what it meant that Raven returned the glass to the bar. It was more than just a simple gesture - it was an invitation, and she accepted it.

“So…” Tim grunted and he looked back at her. “I take it that’s the mate.”

Raven wet her lips and nodded, not sure of what she should say to him.

“And you… came here for…?”

Raven blinked and she looked back up into his face, letting his question sink deep into her veins. What _had_ she come back here for? She didn’t need to come back, she could have easily seen Jason again in her dreams if she needed to talk to him. Nor was she as susceptible to Jinx’s half-cocked “get Raven a date” schemes as Jinx often believed. Raven had no real real reason to return the glass to its mate, and no real reason to come to this bar. She could have stayed in her room, working on files, and let the glass gather dust in some forgotten corner of her closet. She could have stayed as far away from this place as possible.

But she _didn’t_. She shoved all of her reservations to the side, and she came to the bar. _Why?_ She knew the answer, it was just too painful to admit it aloud.

Her eyes slid close and she took a shaky breath. “I came for Jason.”

She could feel Jinx practically _beam_ at her, and Raven opened her eyes. Jinx just chuckled and propped her head up again, eyes fluttering in understanding. She leaned over and walked her fingers up Raven’s arm before tapping her on the nose. “See, Raven… all you had to do was admit _out loud_ that maybe you have a little bit of emotion for that little bad-boy… it wasn’t so hard, now was it?”

Raven flushed, but Tim rolled his eyes. “Are you _done_ yet? You’ve been blathering on since you walked in.”

Jinx shrugged. “I’ll be done when I’m good and ready.” She reached into her purse and slammed a few bills onto the counter. “Now, get back to work, Princess, and do your job.”

Tim’s jaw dropped and he took a step back. “You did _not_ call me ‘Princess’.”

She smirked. “Oh, I most _certainly_ did… _Princess_. Now…” She snapped her fingers. “Chop-chop. I’m here for a cocktail and you better make a _damned_ good one. I’m a paying customer and I didn’t come here _just_ to make my best friend admit her raging feelings of love and confusion and probably _lust_ out loud. ”

“ _Jinx!_ ” Raven flushed brightly and she stumbled backward, her face flushing brightly as her eyes caught Tim’s shocked stare. “I didn’t say any of that!”

“You didn’t have to.” She tapped Raven’s nose again. “I’m _excellent_ at reading you, and you know it.”

Raven looked away, trying to control the way her heart pounded in her chest, matching the still-rumbling sound of The Stones as they filled the bar. She didn’t have feelings for Jason… he was a pain in her neck, a disaster that she had to deal with because _Nightwing_ forced her into the situation. Jason was an idiot, self centered, cocky, and… and… and the kind of kisser that practically _melted_ her soul. He was everything she shouldn’t want in the world. Subconsciously, her fingers reached up and she pressed them against her lips, as if she could still feel the shadows and echoes of his kisses still lingering there. Her stare slowly lifted to meet Tim’s, who looked like he had given up fighting either one of them.

“Mm…” Tim pulled the towel off of his shoulder and set it on the counter. He shifted his weight a little, pondering the unspoken question between them, before giving another sigh of defeat. His eyes rolled to the ceiling as he spoke, obviously not sure if he should look at her. “I think that he’s lost his damn _mind_ over you, Raven.”

Jinx chuckled. “Ahh… Jace didn’t exactly have much of a mind to begin with.”

Tim shrugged and looked back at Raven, his stare practically boring into her with the heat and sharpness that spoke of protection. He was trying to save Jason from harm, trying to keep him from being hurt, and Raven couldn’t fault that. She rested her hands on the bar, and pulled out the only piece of truth that didn’t make her head spin.

“He promised to help me.”

Tim nodded, pressing his lips into a thin line. “He did… so… I don’t really have any choice but to agree with whatever he wants. After all… it’s _his_ bar.” He reached into his pocket and slammed a silver key on the counter, his stare shifting between the two of them. “Why in the world he’s doing this for you… not a clue. Sometimes I think his dip in the pit made him more than crazy.” He sighed again and jerked his thumb over the counter. “Top floor, Raven… he’s been hoping you’d show up.”

Jinx grinned. “ _See?_ I told you.”

Raven flushed again and she reached out to grab the key with a rush of defiance she didn’t know she had. She wasn’t going to let anyone tell her what she was or wasn’t doing, including Jinx and Tim. Steeling her nerves the best she could, Raven made her way to the staircase hidden in the back of the bar behind an old, worn door with chipped red paint. Lights flickered above her head, bumping in time with the bass of the music, until the sound of The Stones faded away, leaving only the feeling of nervousness and trepidation consuming her.

_War, children. It’s just a shot away, it’s just a shot away._

Slowly, she climbed the flights of stairs, each step making her heart thunder against her ribs, stuttering and jumping. Swallowing the knot in her throat, she came to the top of the stairs and slowly slid the key into the locked door, pushing it open.  

Jason was sitting on his sofa, a file spread out over his lap. He looked up, his eyes widening as they caught her own. Raven could feel her heart jump and the world outside this room seemed to disappear. She tightened her hands at her sides and stared at him, unsure of what she should say or how she could break the tension that was weaving between them. Her lips trembled, and suddenly she could taste his whiskey-soaked kisses still clinging to her mouth.

Jason nodded once, his face betraying none of his emotions. “You came.”

  
  
  


 


	6. Chapter 6

To say that this was awkward would have been the understatement of the year. This was _beyond_ awkward, and they both knew it. Raven’s heart was still racing in her chest, beating out a rhythm she didn’t completely understand, and she didn’t know where to look or what to say. Her eyes moved around the small apartment above the bar - finally settling on framed art that she wondered if it was _purchased_ or _procured_. She was pretty sure that was a _real_ Picasso hanging above the record player, but knew better than to ask about it. It wasn’t like that piece of information would be imperative to her current mission, and the less she knew the better it was for both of them.  

Her eyes lifted to look at Jason’s profile as he pulled out the manilla folder, settling papers out on the coffee table in front of them. Raven’s stomach turned, reminding her again of the danger she was putting herself in. It was true that she knew what she was getting into when she agreed to this whole mess, but she was caught unaware by _how_ much of a mess it was. Here she was, on the other side of town, in a seedy bar, flirting with disaster in every way imaginable.

Including making out with her informant in the confines of his dreams.

Nightwing was going to murder her if he ever found out exactly _who_ she was working with on this. That was something she _had_ to keep reminding herself about, or she might forget.

“This is what I have so far on what you asked me.” Jason handed her the manilla envelope and settled back into the sofa. “I touched base with a few contacts I have, and some of them have been hearing that friends-of-friends-of-friends are being contacted by agents of Slade. There’s a lot of separation between Slade and these particular people, but from what I can tell Slade _is_ a direct player in all of this. So, your resident bird boy was correct in his suspicions, but don’t tell him that. His head is already too big for his mask.”

Raven managed to squash a snort before it escaped, but Jason managed to catch the twitch of a smile on her lips, and grinned at her. “He’ll figure it out some day.”  

She shook her head and turned back to the notes, flicking through them. “So…” Her mind was racing, trying to pull pieces apart and put them back together. “And any reason why Slade is tracking these people down? Or what he’s up to?”

Jason shook his head, his mouth tugging to the side in a lopsided frown. “No. Nothing yet, at least. There hasn’t been any conversation or definition of _why_ he’s reaching out like this, but most of my old contacts are getting a little antsy. They’re saying this doesn’t feel right - aside from the fact that it’s Slade. There’s something dark going on, and no one knows what it is.”

Raven felt something blossom in the pit of her stomach, and a darkness threaded throughout her limbs to the point where every part of her felt heavy. She shifted, watched Jason out of the corner of her eye. There was something more to this - she just _knew it_ , but she didn’t know how everything fit together. It was as if this entire week was bleeding into a mess of confusion and worry that made her question everything. The small question that Dick had asked her to investigate was turning into a mystery she wasn’t sure if she would be able to unravel.

“ _Who_ he’s targeting is what’s interesting.”

Raven lifted her head and watched as Jason leaned further back into the sofa, his arm draped over the back. There was a long pause, and for a moment Jason looked pensive, as if there was a thought scratching at the back of his mind that he couldn’t quite itch. He tapped his fingers along the cushion, running along a seam. She blinked, letting herself get lost in the lines of his face, the way his jaw tensed and his eyes seemed far-off. His stare was impossibly green, flecks of blue running through it like some kind of rare opal. Raven had never been a sucker for eyes, but Jason made her feel like… _it didn’t matter_.

She slammed the door on those thoughts, trying to quiet her heart before letting herself fall any further into this pit of embarrassment. Jason was an… an _annoyance._ He wasn’t the kind of person she should fall for, and she knew it. Raven tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and stared back down into the notes, pretending she wasn’t completely affected by him.   

“So, who is he trying to target?”

“ _Nobodies_.” Jason looked back at her, his head tilting to the side, still thinking. “Honestly. Thugs. Pimps. Purse-snatchers. Muggers.” He gave a bark of humorless laughter. “Even a _flasher_. Literally nobodies. People even JCPD don’t have on their records.”

 _That_ certainly didn’t make sense. It wasn’t Slade’s usual MO to go after people who wouldn’t benefit him in a particular way. Slade wanted to surround himself with people who were loyal, and strong, and _useful_. Hiring a flasher or a common thug wasn’t exactly in the boundaries of his usual plan. Which meant that there had to be something different under the surface - something more than what Slade was letting on.

Raven looked up from her notes again, shifting. “So… what does that mean? That he’s looking for a rag-tag crew of misfits for… for _what?_ ”

“Princess, if I had an answer, I would tell you. But this is mystifying me as much as it is you.” He rolled his shoulders, trying to ease the tension in the muscles, and tipped his head back to look at the ceiling. “I get worried how far up the totem pole Slade is willing to go to get what he wants. If he starts targeting my friends…”  Jason trailed off, the edge of his mouth twitching again, and Raven knew that as touch as he tried to act, he was still worried about his friends.

Raven closed the manilla folder and looked at him, waiting.  

Jason ran a hand over his face and stood up. “I need a drink.” He paced the room for a few minutes before going to the small bar tucked in the corner. “Whiskey?”

It was a soft dig, and they both knew it. It was meant to be a reminder of the things they did in the privacy of their dreams, and suddenly Raven was brought back to the memory of his ragged kisses against her lips, his fingertips brushing up against the skin of her stomach as he inched his hand higher and higher. Color stained her cheeks, and Raven straightened her shoulders in some kind of pathetic defiance before flicking the folder back open, _just_ so she could look at something that _wasn’t him_. “No. Thank you.”

Jason’s smile pulled to the side, as if he knew something she didn’t. “Suit yourself.”

Raven’s face burned hot, but she didn’t meet his stare, waiting as he poured himself a drink. “If he’s planning something big, then it seems more likely that Slade would go after someone who at least has some kind of skill. Something that he can use. If he’s going after common criminals, then there has to be a reason behind it.”

“Agreed.”

He returned to his spot on the sofa and looked over Raven’s shoulder at the notes. She could smell the oak and peat on his breath, and something in the pit of her stomach clenched in response. _His hands trailing up her sides..._ She needed to get a damned grip on herself, but Jason wasn’t exactly making it _easy_.

“So…” Jason took a sip of his drink before setting it back on the table. “Do you think he’s just burned too many bridges? That whatever he’s planning he’s going to have to work with what he can get his hands on?”

“No…” Raven set the folder of the table in front of them before folding her hands in her lap. “Not him. Slade isn’t exactly _charismatic,_ but he is eloquent and he knows how to get under your skin.”

Her chest sagged with the weight of her own memories of her birthday just a few years ago. The way he managed to break every part of her down, make her lose herself to the demon inside. The way his thick hands had wrapped around her and burned a brand into her body so deep that she never felt free of him. She had remembered laying curled in a ball on the floor of the shower, sobbing into herself as the water ran cold and her ears rang. She sat there for what felt like eons, knowing that Slade had found her weakest points and ripped them apart, leaving her broken and bloodied, and wounded forever.  

Raven swallowed and tried to wipe her mind clean of her thoughts, lifting her eyes back to Jason’s. “Slade knows how to find all of the little dips and bumps in your armor and exploit them. If he found something these people wanted, and used that against them, it would be easy to drag them into his plan. It wouldn’t have taken even much effort on Slade’s part if their own resolve was weak.”

Jason nodded like he agreed with her, but she could see the confusion and caution in his eyes. He could tell that there was something to her story that she wasn’t telling him, something that she had experienced first-hand, and wasn’t willing to share. Raven swallowed and looked away, staring at the Picasso again, its languid, exaggerated shapes soothing to her.

“Are you _sure_ you don’t want a drink?”

Jason wasn’t pushing, it was just a comment.

Raven glanced back at him to see that confusion in his stare again, except this time it was laced with understanding and concern. He seemed to know what she was going through, could feel the way she closed up and tensed, and the way her mind wandered back into dark places. Raven shifted, pushing at her hair again and setting the folder back down on the coffee table. She was feeling overwhelmed, like there was too much pushing on her and reminding her of things she’d rather forget.

“No… no, I’m fine.” She waved him off, shaking her head. “I should go anyway. I need to get back before Dick realizes I’ve been gone for this long. He thinks I’m just running errands right now with Jinx.”

Jason’s smile tugged to the side and he nodded. “And he still doesn’t know about me?”

“Like I said, it’s not my secret to tell.” She shifted again. “I wouldn’t tell him unless it was absolutely necessary… or you asked me to. But seeing as that doesn’t seem likely anytime soon, you can assume your secret is safe with me.”  

Raven found herself staring at him again, feeling the tension wind tight between them. Jason’s face softened, and she saw his stare slid to her lips, watching her. She swallowed, unsure where this meeting was going to end. In his dreams she knew exactly what happened when she left the bar, and Raven was wondering if it would be the same here in the real world. Letting herself cave to his desires in his dreams was one thing, but doing it on this plane of existence was something else entirely.

Jason set his glass down and moved closer, invading her space. “And our agreement?”

“I would hardly call it an agreement.” Raven was embarrassed at how breathy her voice sounded, like something out of a cheap novel. Her heart skipped beats and she waited for a moment, trying to get herself to calm down just enough that her voice wouldn’t shake. “And that’s only in your dreams - _literally_.”

Jason’s mouth tilted to the side in his usual, casual smile, and he leaned back, resting against the cushions opposite of her. “One of these days I’m going to get you to kiss me for real.”

“Is that what you think?” Raven wanted to keep her voice even, but everything inside her was trembling with anticipation, and her words sounded more like a challenge than a tease. “I doubt that.”

“Mm…” His smile widened, as if he knew he would take her challenge - and then some. “You _don’t_ want to kiss me?”

“I didn’t say that.” Raven pushed at her hair and stood up, trying to keep more space between them. She might have been playing with fire, but _he_ was lighting the matches and handing them to her.

“Then…” He stood up and moved closer to her, invading her space again. His eyes darkened, pupils growing wide as he leaned over her. It was hard not to feel small when he practically towered over her petite form. “...is it okay if I kiss you?”

Raven swallowed, staring up at him as a hundred responses flooded her mind. She could feel her stomach turn over, her heartbeat swallowing her thoughts as the world seemed to bleed into colors and sensations. It would be so easy to say yes. So easy to tell him that she wanted him to kiss her. She wanted to feel that same kind of excitement burning her skin that she felt in his dreams - the way he touched her like she was breakable, and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to break her or not.

But this _wasn’t_ a dream, and there were real consequences to what happened to them here.

She took a raggedy breath and shook her head. “No.”

His face fell a little, just Jason took a half-step back out of respect. “I understand.”

“Not… not _yet_ , anyway.”

He lifted an eyebrow and met her stare again, curious. Raven looked away, heat flooding her face. What was it about Jason that made her feel like the world was crumbling out from under her feet, and the only person she could cling to was him? Her teeth sunk into her lower lip and she forced herself to meet his stare, hoping she didn’t look helpless. She would have never been able to live it down if he knew what he did to her.

“But at some point?” His question was soft, but serious. Raven expected him to tease, but he gave her the space she needed until they both understood what this was.

“At some point.”

His smile returned and he offered a final nod. “Well, whenever you’re ready, Little Bird, I’ll be here waiting.”

Raven cocked her head to the side. “Don’t you have droves of women throwing themselves at your feet?”

He shrugged and shoved his hands into his pockets. “None that interest me like you.”

“Now you’re teasing.”

She picked up the notes and moved toward the door, feeling him follow her steps. He paused just behind her, the heat of his body soaking through her clothes, and Raven felt as though he was bleeding into her, that his own body was becoming part of her own, and she wondered if she would ever be whole again without him by her side. They were sharing too much of each other to stay separate for much longer.  

“Come see me tonight.” His voice was a low grumble, barely audible over the rumble of noise from the bar two floors below them. Jason’s fingers touched her shoulder before he pulled back, still giving her space. “I know it’s…”

“It’s dangerous.” Raven’s hand wrapped around the door handle. “We shouldn’t be meeting like that. It’s not safe, Jason. Think about what could happen to you if something followed me in.”

She felt him grin behind her, teasing. “Awe, you’re worried about me. It’s cute.”

Her cheeks burned and she pulled open the door, taking a step back and feeling the hard mass of his chest behind her. For one brief second, she allowed herself the girlish pleasure of enjoying the weight of his muscles pressing into her. His heart thumped against her spine and she tried not to think about how easily he could reach around her and slam the door close. How easily he could lift her up and pin her against the wood. How easily he could just _take_ … and how easily she would let him.

Her tongue ran over her lower lip. “Not tonight.”

“Tomorrow then.” He took a step back, giving her some iota of relief, but letting her burn without him against her. “Come see me tomorrow.”

Raven tried to make herself say no, but she already knew what her answer was, no matter how silly it was. “Tomorrow.”

He smiled and watched as she looked over her shoulder at him. Jason cocked his head to the side and watched her, somehow saying nothing and everything at the same time. “Good. Then, it’s a date.”

Raven’s face fell. He could _not_ be serious.

  
  
  


 


	7. Chapter 7

Dick was so engrossed in whatever was on the screen of his table, that he didn’t even look up from the screen when Raven walked in. In fact, for all intents and purposes - he seemed oblivious to the world around him, even the fact his coffee had gone stone-cold. Raven shook her head and let the manilla folder in her hands hit the tabletop with a definitive  _ smack _ . Dick jerked and looked up from the tablet in front of him, blinking as if he’d been jolted out of a dream. His head tilted to the side, expression confused as he reached for the folder. 

Raven moved to set the tea kettle on the stove, waiting silently as Dick paged through the notes. His expression changed, and she watched his face as the confusion melted into something like shock and surprise. 

“Where did you get this?” He finally looked up at her, eyes wide. “This is… this is a  _ lot _ of information, Rae.”

“I’ve been working. Like you asked.” Her lips twitched, trying to keep her expression calm and blank. It wasn’t  _ exactly _ a lie, if she was going to split hairs, but, it wasn’t exactly the truth either. “It was given to me by someone I’ve been working with. Jinx and I met up with him briefly to night to discuss the details and he handed the information off to me.”

His mouth tilted down in something close to a frown, and Dick looked back up into her face. “Red X?”

“My sources continue to remain anonymous.” Raven shifted, crossing her arms over her chest and biting the inside of her cheek. If he pried too much, she would undoubtedly give into whatever he asked. “Let’s leave it at that.”

Dick could see right through her bullshit, but he graciously took the high road and chose not to say anything. A few moments passed in silence as he paged through the notes, his eyes scanning through a few photos. “So, what does this all mean?”

“Honestly?” Raven shrugged, her eyebrows knitting together as she thought about it. “Your guess is as good as mine. But my  _ source _ tells me that Slade is recruiting nobodies. Muggers, flashers, petty theft… no one  _ important _ . No one that has any kind of clout, or even grand plans of their own.” Something scratched at the back of her head, as if she wanted to say something else, but couldn’t quite put her finger on it. The kettle behind her started to hiss as the water heated up, and she turned around to take it off the heat. “What he’s  _ doing _ with them… I don’t know. It could be anything. Maybe he’d looking for someone easy to train.”

“Or easy to take advantage of.” He paused, turning over another piece of paper. “And does your…  _ source _ know anything more?” Dick lifted an eyebrow, but chose not to pry any harder, and Raven was thankful for that. He knew that this balance of her working with “her source” was a delicate one, and sometimes it was best if he knew as little as possible. No matter how much it pained him. He leaned back into his chair. “He doesn’t know what Slade wants with them?”

Raven smirked. “Who said my source was a  _ he _ ?” 

Dick rolled his eyes, but there was a soft tug on the edge of his lips again. That was good, it meant he was easing a little bit more, that things weren’t as strained between them as she thought. He placed his hands on the table and stared at her. “Okay, okay. I get your point, Rae. Private sources stay private, I remember. So… let’s talk this out then. If  _ you _ were Slade-”

“Thank the heavens I’m not. But go on.”

Dick shook his head, the tension around them breaking a little as he fell into his own world critical thinking. “If you were Slade, what would you want with a group of lousy low-lifes?” 

Raven shrugged. “They’re not useful. They don’t think on their own, they don’t have any good ideas. They don’t offer anything at all. Physical bodies just there to fill space.”

“Right.” Dick sounded as if she had made some kind of brilliant discovery, but was still waiting for her to explain it. “So, what else could it be?”

She paused, turning the question over in her mind again. Her tongue ran along her lower lip and she finally looked back at Dick with another shrug. “Grunt work?”

“Maybe.” Dick rubbed his forehead and closed the manila folder, pushing it away from him. 

Raven could see the dark circles under his eyes, the way his face stretched a certain way when he was lost in thought, and the shadows gathering in the corners of his eyes. She shifted again, her heart was heavy. She could tell that Dick was already getting too close to this case, so close that he was starting to lose sight of why they started this investigation. If he wasn’t careful, he would lose himself all over again.  

The last time Slade had done something like this, had started messing with things he didn’t understand, Dick had fallen back down a hole in which it was nearly impossible to return from. It was as if he was broken in a way that no one could fix, and he didn’t want to be save. Raven thought they had lost him, that his mind was dissolved in a darkness even  _ she _ couldn’t penetrate, and the team had rallied around him to pull him back from the edge. It had taken every ounce of their effort to keep the team together. 

Watching Dick spiral out of control like that had broken her heart, and she couldn’t bear to see him like that again. Which meant that there was only one thing she could do to help bring him back, and it wasn’t going to be pretty. She ground her teeth together and let out a quiet, but annoyed sigh. 

“Hey.” 

He looked up, his eyes meeting her own with question. 

“We should…” She grimaced, forcing what was undoubtedly an awkward and strained smile. “We should all go out tonight. It could be…  _ fun? _ ” She didn’t even sound convincing to herself, but he had to give her points for trying. “It’s been a while, I mean.”  

Dick blinked before tightly pressing his lips together, trying to bite back laughter before it broke free. He leaned forward and propped his chin up on a fist, pretending to be fascinated with her. “I’m sorry did you say… _out?_ _All of us?_ Out in the world of people and noise and _activities?_ ”

“Ugh.” Raven ran her hands over her face and she groaned. He was going to hold this over her head for the rest of her life, and she was just going to have to let him. “I can  _ go out _ sometimes. I can be social.” A shiver ran down her spine. “When the need calls for it.”

“Oh, I know. It’s just a rare treat to see it.” He stood up, his smile finally splitting his lips, the weight of what was in the manilla folder suddenly forgotten. He pushed the chair away from the table and laughed again, his smile turning teasing. “But, no take-backsies, Rae. If you offered to go out, you have to hold up your end of the bargain.”

Oh, this was going to be absolutely  _ painful _ , and he was going to enjoy every second of it. Her expression managed to fall even further, and she glared at him from beneath her eyelashes. “You’re going to make me regret this, aren’t you?”

“ _ Yep. _ ” Dick started for the door, his smile widening. “I’ll go get the others and tell them we’re leaving in a few.”

Raven ran a hand down her face and groaned. “And where are we going, oh Fearless Leader?”

“Hmm…” Dick paused, and pretended to think before snapping his fingers together as if he had a genius idea. “I’ve got  _ just _ the place. It’ll be somewhere  _ fun _ . Promise.” He didn’t elaborate any further as he practically skipped out the door and called for the rest of the team.

Raven was  _ so _ going to regret this. 

-

At least it was dark. That was nice. Maybe. Kind of. She wasn’t sure with the noise and lazer-lights spinning around her. She could do without the black lights and the ultra techno pop music blaring into her ears, immediately followed by raucous sound of pins crashing against the wood lane. Raven looked down at her jeans and noticed that she had stained them at some point, the blacklights lighting up a streak of either soap residue or blood. She wasn’t certain which one, and she didn’t really want to know anyway. She wiped at it, but it refused to disappear. 

There was the bright flash of a neon-pink ball whipping down the greased hardwood, followed immediately by the crash of pins hitting the floor. Behind her, Cy let out a loud  _ whoop _ of approval.

“ _ That’s my girl! _ ”   

Starfire turned around and looked at her, face beaming with pride. “I have made the homerun?”

“Strike.” Raven looked over at Starfire, her pretty, almost delicate face filled with her usual  _ unbridled joy _ , and felt something tug in her chest. No matter how many times Starfire drove her nuts, there were moments like these when Raven remembered how much she loved her. “And not quite. That’s a spare. It means you hit the other pins that you didn’t knock down from your first throw. Good job, by the way. Cy’s obviously impressed, and he has this down to a  _ science _ .”

“Then I did good? That is wonderful!” Starfire’s face lit up and she looked delightfully pleased with herself before reaching for the pink fruit smoothie in front of her. “I enjoy this game. It was very nice of you to think of a team outing, Raven! I did not think you would like coming to a place like this.”

Raven managed to quash her grimace before it split her lips. She didn’t want to pop Starfire’s happy bubbly, so she’d rather just keep quiet. “Dick picked it out… I just suggested that we should hang out together. It’s been a while for all of us to be in the same room together - when we’re not fighting bad guys.”

Starfire nodded, eyes wide. “Yes. I agree. It has been a long time since we did the hanging out. I have missed spending our time together. You are my very best friends and it somehow feels as though we never see each other, even though we all live in the same home together.” Her smile fell a little, as if talking about something serious pulled her feet back to earth. “It feels very… distant? As though we are not as close as we once were, when we were younger.”

“Yeah…” Raven’s heart sunk a little. “I know… it feels weird now.” 

Those words had a bit of sting to them, and Raven had to admit that she agreed with Starfire. Even though they all lived together, sometimes it felt like they all lead very different lives. And, it didn’t help that she was now keeping so many secrets from them. The secrets were building up in her chest, weighing her down until she felt heavy and encumbered with too many thoughts and emotions. She rubbed her forehead with her knuckles, as if trying to push her thoughts just a little further to the back of her mind. Right now, it was time for her to be with her friends. Later, she could worry about the moral implications of fraternizing with the enemy.  

Raven gave Starfire a tight smile. “But, I miss you too, Star. How have things been going with you and Dick?” It wasn’t completely lost on Raven how strange it felt that she was suddenly asking her roommate how she was doing, and that weight seemed to grow a bit heavier. Did Raven really spend such little time with her friends and teammates? Did they know so little about each other? 

“Things have been…  _ well _ , I suppose. But…” She paused and took a long drink of the smoothie, her eyebrows knitting together as she thought. There seemed to be something weighing on her too, something that she was turning over in her own mind, as to whether or not she should talk to Raven about it. “There is… there is something that has been bothering Dick lately. He seems… distant? Perhaps distracted? Or Concerned?” Starfire shifted, watching as Garfield threw his first ball into the gutter with a groan. Starfire set her drink down, folding her hands in her lap. “He had a nightmare a few weeks ago, and he hasn’t quite been the same…” 

Starfire trailed off, as if she said something she shouldn’t have, but the damage had already been done. Raven now knew there was something going on with Dick. Her stomach tightened, as if she suddenly knew that this had to do with Slade, and his sudden obsession with what he was doing. Raven shifted in the seat, uncomfortable with the new weight resting between them.

“A nightmare?” Raven turned and looked at her, watching as Starfire picked up her drink again and tried to down the rest of her smoothie, if only to avoid talking. “He didn’t tell me that. What was it about?”

Starfire’s face fell and she pulled the smoothie away from her lips. There was a flash of a moment where Raven could see her wondering if she should lie, or at least find a way to cover up the actuality of what happened, but then decided against it. She let out a short breath and met Raven’s eyes with a worried look. “He did not tell me what his dream was about or any of the details, and I did not want to force him if he was not ready to talk. But he was…” Starfire shifted, her eyes watching Garfield’s second ball roll down the lane, knocking the ninth pin . “...  _ distraught _ . To a frightening degree.” 

“Oh.” Raven blinked, her thoughts suddenly spinning. If what Starfire was saying was true, then Dick had that nightmare just before he told her to start snooping around in Jason’s dreams. If that was the case, then maybe he knew more than he was letting on. Maybe there was something more to her searching, and he just wasn’t giving her the full picture yet. At the very least, it would explain his behavior lately. She was just going to have to find a way to work the whole story out of him. 

“Perhaps I am overreacting.” 

Raven looked back at Starfire, trying to keep her expression neutral. Starfire might not have the best grasp on social cues, or on language, but she was  _ observant _ . If she even caught a  _ little _ glimpse of what Raven was thinking, then Starfire would find a way to pull it out of her, and Raven would have to admit everything about her  _ secret mission _ Dick had sent her on a few weeks ago. Right now, it was the best option not to worry her friends until either of them knew more about what was happening. Raven offered Starfire a small smile and shrugged. “You’re worried about him. There’s nothing wrong with that.” 

Starfire didn’t looked convinced, but she smiled just the same, the worry in her eyes softening just a little. “You are such a good friend, Raven. I am glad that you are here with us.” She looked as though she were going to pitch forward and hug her, but she paused, her stare darting over Raven’s shoulder. Starfire’s eyes trained on something for a moment, and a small smile pulled at the edge of her mouth. “I am sorry, and I do not mean to interrupt our talk, but it appears as though someone has been watching you for some time.”

Raven stiffened, but didn’t turn around. Her stomach sank, and she pressed her lips together. This had to be some kind of elaborate prank to absolutely decimate her good sense. Or at the very least, entice her to commit homicide.  

Starfire giggled behind her hand. “He is very cute.” 

Her face flushed, and Raven finally turned around to see a face half-hidden in shadows stare out at her.  _ Jason _ . Of course. He locked eyes with her, his lips pulling to the side in his trademark smirk, and lifted his glass of whiskey towards her in invitation. Starfire took the bait and giggled, offering him a delicate-fingered wave in response. Raven rolled her eyes and turned back around, grinding her teeth together as she somehow managed not to sulk like a sullen child. “He looks like he’d be an annoyance. I’d rather not.”

“How do you know that?” Starfire blinked and looked back at him before leaning closer to Raven, whispering behind her hand. “Is there something about him you do not like? Perhaps his eyes? They are very dark, and very green. Do you not like green eyes? Or the scar on his jaw?”

No, his eyes were part of his problem, as were his  _ scars _ . His eyes were too easy to fall into, and too hard to crawl out of. Raven sighed and pushed herself into a standing position, determined to go and tell him off. It was one thing to tease her in the secret places in their dreams, but it was something to  _ taunt the other Robin _ in the real world. 

She sighed and pushed her hair behind her ear, moving a few steps from Starfire and out of the direct light. “It’s fine. Let me go handle this, and I will be back in a few.” She tugged at the hem of her sweater, wishing she looked at least a little  _ less _ like she had no intention of being seen by him. “Just bowl my frames for me.”

“Oh, yes! I will try to get you the…” Starfire’s eyebrows knitted together as she thought, trying to pick the right word. “...touchdown?”

Raven laughed. “ _ Strike _ .”

“Ah! Right!  _ Strike _ .” 

Raven shook her head and turned around to edge into the dim bar behind the lanes. Taking a deep breath to steel her nerves, she moved into the shadowed corner where Jason sat. His hands were wrapped around a cheap glass of scotch and, and his smile tugged teasingly to the side. His eyes swept down her body in a not-so-subtle move,  and he leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. He was doing everything in her power to break down her defenses. 

“Well, well… look at you, out here and socializing with your teammates.” His words were a low drawal, pulling out each syllable to tease her. “I’m so proud of you for being the social butterfly I always knew you could be. Getting out and getting friendly with your…  _ friends. _ ”

Raven’s face fell again and she sat down across from him, plopping unceremoniously into the chair. She set her hands on the table and stared into his eyes for a long moment, trying to look more imposing than she really was. “What are you doing here?”

He gave a one-shouldered shrug. “Who says I can’t like this particular bowling alley bar?”  

“ _ Jason _ … no one likes bowling alley bars. Even people  _ at _ bowling alleys.” She snorted and motioned to his glass. “And  _ you’re _ drinking cheap scotch. So,  _ spill _ . What are you doing here?”

His laughter washed over her, a sort of strange warmth spreading through her limbs and chest, and he shook his head. His smile turned genuine, and that made the feeling a hundred times worse. She could handle the faux-suave, big-boy in kevlar routine he played for her, but that genuine smile always broke her apart at the seams. His head tilted to the side, exposing the lock of while hair hidden just at his widow’s peak. “Calm down, Princess. I’m not tailing you or anything, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“No.” She snorted and looked over her shoulder, seeing Dick and Cy engaged in some kind of deep conversation about their favorite sports team. “You’re skirting  _ dangerously _ close to people who think you’re still dead. You know that, right? Hell, you’re lucky Star doesn’t recognize your face or there would be a  _ hell  _ of a lot of explaining to do.” 

“I know.” Jason leaned forward, looking her in the eyes again. There was a brief pause as his stare slid down to her lips and back up to her eyes again, his smile melting. His teasing expression turned serious, and all the brightness in his face seemed to fade. “I’m actually tailing someone who’s been contacted by Slade. There’s not a lot on him, but enough that he raised more than a few red-flags for me. He seems to be following your team around town and even to this crappy bowling alley bar.”

That brought Raven’s own thoughts to a stand still, and she felt as though her heart stopped beating in her chest. Her skin went cold and she could herself looking around the bar at the lonely patrons and empty tables. “Who…?” 

Jason tilted his head to a scrawny looking kid in an oversized jacket, hunched over a cup of water and some soggy french fries in the opposite corner of the bar. He looked up and met eyes with Raven for just a short moment before looking away, pretending to be reading the scores on the screens above the lanes. Raven’s stomach turned and something in her self-preservation seemed to kick into overdrive. She pulled her arms closer to her, and she watched the profile of the guy for a moment before looking back at Jason. He nodded, lifting an eyebrow in agreement, but there was something else in his expression that said he’d die (again) before letting anything else happen to her. 

“I mean, it could just be a fluke or some crazy fan… but  I’d rather be safe than sorry.” Jason finished his cheap scotch and set the empty glass back down on the tabletop. “Besides, it gets be out of the bar long enough for Tim to  _ shut up  _ about whatever he’s on about.”  

Raven knew  _ exactly  _ how to interpret that. Her eyes narrowed and she cocked her head to the side, watching him. “You seem uncharacteristically interested in protecting the team.”

“Mm…” His lips tugged to the side again, as if he was harboring a secret he wasn’t sure if he wanted to tell just yet. His tongue slid along his lower lip, and Raven found herself drawn to the movement, heart slamming against her ribs. Jason shook his head. “Not the  _ team _ … just you, Raven. I would have thought that you figured that out by now. If I protect the team in the meantime, I guess that’s just a perk.”    

“Oh.” Raven found herself floundering for words, desperately trying to figure out what to say to that. He had made it  _ blatantly _ clear what his feelings for her were, but her own emotions were shimmering in and out of existence occasionally. She wanted to know exactly what  _ she _ felt for him, and somehow being close to him like this, made her realize that her own thoughts and feelings were more convoluted than she expected. 

She shifted again and leaned back in the chair, knowing that if she pulled too close to him, there would be no way to save herself from him again. Each encounter - either here or in their dreams - felt like it was just one more stitch, one more thing pulling them together. She sunk her teeth into her lower lip and watched as his smile widened just a little, knowing he hit a tender spot. 

“You know…” He leaned across the table and looked into her eyes, his voice dropping an octave. “At some point you’re going to have to finally admit how I feel about you.”

“How you feel about me?” She felt like the world was spinning around her, and she found herself falling into that dark stare. Her fingers curled into a fist and she leaned closer to him, their lips only inches apart. Her eyes darted to his own mouth and she took a soft breath, uncertain about the feelings storing inside her chest. “Or how I feel about you?”

He allowed the shock to race across his face for the briefest of moments before covering it up with another teasing smile. He moved a fraction closer, as if he was considering throwing good sense to the wind and stealing a kiss from her. He managed to keep his wits about him and instead offered a soft chuckle, pulling back again. “Maybe both?”

“And you think that’s now?” Raven was embarrassed by the soft breath threading in between her voice, how it made her sound so weak, and too much like a heroine in a cheap novel. Sh shifted and lifted her chin enough to look into his eyes again. “I refuse to give you the satisfaction.”

He chuckled again, shifting back a few inches further into propriety. “Well then, I guess I’ll have to keep trying to get you admit it.” He looked behind her and shook his head, smile falling. “My target is leaving, and I better too, or Dick is going to wander over here and catch you fraternizing with a dead Robin. And, honestly? I don’t know if I have a good enough excuse to ward him off for a few weeks longer.” 

Raven watched as he pulled his leather jacket on, his eyes meeting hers again. 

“You promised a date.” 

Her cheeks flared red and she glared at him. He had to keep bringing it up.  _ Ugh _ . Raven’s eyes narrowed and she pressed her lips together. “If that’s what you want to call it.”

His smirk brightened into a grin, and for a moment he looked like the young boy he was supposed to be - the person he was when he died all those years ago. Raven felt herself drawn to him, uncertain what that weird, bubbling feeling was in the pit of her stomach. She had an urge to follow him out that door, even if it meant her own destruction. 

“ _ It is _ .” He pushed a lock of hair out of his eyes and took a few steps back, still smiling at her. “You promised,  _ Princess _ . Don’t take it back now.” With a flick of his wrist as a goodbye salute, Jason made his way to a back door, leaving Raven practically speechless. 

_ What an ass.  _


	8. Chapter 8

Raven managed to get out of the bowling alley with her dignity intact, and without anyone (outside of Starfire) realizing she had been flirting so close to danger. Honestly, that felt like a major accomplishment, and she wasn’t sure which god was watching out for her, but she sent up a silent prayer. If Dick found out about Jason… well, she wasn’t sure _what_ would happen, but she doubted it would be controllable.  

The evening air had turned a little cold and quiet, and as the team walked down the sidewalk, heading back home, Dick fell back into step with her. They walked together for a while, listening to the bright chatter of their friends and they arguing over who was the better bowler. It felt comfortable and known, and Raven could feel a little spark of warmth fill her chest. For right now, this was good. This made her _happy_ , and that was something she needed in light of everything going on around her.

There was a long pause as Dick’s steps slowed down, and Raven finally lifted an eyebrow, looking at him. She waited for him to say something, but she was met with nothing but silence. Of course. Sighing, she stared ahead and watched their friends step further away from them. “You’re stewing over there about something, I can feel it.”

His lips tugged at the edges, but his smile looked wan, as if there was something heavy weighing on him to the point he couldn’t get comfortable. She glanced at him from the corner of her eye, and Raven thought back to what Starfire had told her, that Nightwing had nightmares, that there was something inside him that was breaking and he didn’t know how to tell the rest of the team. What _was_ going on with him?

He shifted, shoving his hair out of his eyes before glancing away.  “Just… thinking. About how _nice_ it was that you suggested going out as a team.” He cocked his head to the side, a genuine smile finally starting to pull at his lips. “I mean…”

“Yeah, yeah…” She waved him off, pursing her lips. “I know you’re going to hold this over my head for the next year. _Hey, remember that time that Raven was actually social_.” Raven tried to look annoyed, but her face betrayed her and a small smile tugged at the edges of her. “I know better than to trust you with something like this.”

Dick laughed, the sound surprisingly warm against the shadows under his eyes. His pace slowed even more, and Raven fell back into step with him, watching their friends walk ahead of them, chatting. That little zone of comfort was disappearing up ahead, but she knew better than to chase it. If Dick was separating her from the group, there was a real reason behind it. He wanted to talk to her about something, and it was clearly important.

She shifted, feeling the air between her and Dick grow weighted again. It wasn’t uncommon for them to talk between themselves, but it was rare that it felt like _this_. Like the weight of the universe was on Dick’s shoulders, and his only outlet was Raven. She paused for a moment, waiting for their friends to move even further up the sidewalk. Whatever this was, it was important to Dick that they spoke in pseudo-privacy.

“You want to talk about something.” Her words fell flat, and Raven could feel her emotions pull into her body in a years-old defensive mechanism. Whatever this was, she knew better than to let her emotions and her powers get the best of her. She watched Dick for a long moment, his eyes flicking to hers and then away, uncertain. Raven’s heart seemed to fall into her stomach, and she stood there, waiting for _anything_ to happen.

Finally, Dick turned and started down the sidewalk again, his voice quiet and thin in the thickness of the night. “It’s about what I asked you to do… the dreamwalking, I mean.”

“I know what you mean.” She fidgeted with a badly sewn seam on her sweater and watched him out of the corner of her eye, trying to decipher his unspoken question. Was he trying to press her again for Red X’s identity? She could only hold onto that secret for so long before she let something slip, but she wasn’t ready to break Jason’s trust. Raven kept her face as calm as she could and stared at Dick, waiting. “What about the dreamwalking, Dick? I can’t tell you about who Red X is, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“What?” He picked up his head and seemed genuinely surprised by her comments. A second passed and he shook his head, as if trying to remove her words from his own thoughts. “No, no. That’s not… that’s not what I want to talk to you about.”

“Then what?”

“It’s… _Slade._ ” He ran his hand through his hair and looked away again, guilt pooling off him as he shifted. “I should have talked to you first. I should have… _I don’t know_ , asked for your help, or meditation, or for you to dreamwalk on me, but…” He grunted, the sound hollow and aching, as if he was tired of fighting and didn’t know what else to do. “I’ve been dreaming about Slade.”

“Is… is that what this is about?”

Raven swallowed, everything outside her suddenly turning to a hum of colors and sounds, forgotten under the shock of Dick’s words. Nothing made sense. Slade had been gone for years, there hadn’t even been rumors or rumors about him. Dick had _finally_ healed. It shouldn’t have affected him this way, but standing in front of Raven, looking almost sallow and drawn into himself, she could finally see that there was something else going on. The small outbursts in their conversation, the darkness under his eyes, the constant ache and exhaustion… it all made sense now.

Raven took a slow breath, weighing her own words. “You mentioned knowing he was up to something, but you never told me _how_ you got that information.”

“I know.” He looked a bit sheepish and rubbed the back of his neck, trying to ease the tension there. “It was a dream… a nightmare, actually. I mean, I don’t know how to describe it. It was all broken images and pieces that weren’t quite meshed together.” He rubbed the heel of his hand into his forehead as if trying to keep his thoughts all pulled together in a way that made sense. “I just knew… I just knew that when I woke up that it wasn’t _just_ a dream, right? It wasn’t _just_ a nightmare from memories from years ago. It was something real. And fresh.” Pause. “And _painful_.”

Raven swallowed, her throat dry. Her heart was skipping beats, forgetting how to work, and she didn’t know if she had enough air to breathe. “And what kind of real was it? What did you see?”

Dick sighed, his hand falling to the side, limp. “ _Scath._ ”  

Raven just stared at him, feeling as though someone had punched her in the gut and she couldn’t quite find the edge of her senses. It felt like she was tumbling through air, end-over-end, waiting to hit a ground that never came. She didn’t know what to say, or even how to think, and so she just stood there, unsure of what else she could do to make things feel right again. A mixture of emotions swirled inside her - fear, worry, _anger_. How could he keep something like this from her? How could he think that this was in her best interest? She wanted to growl or snap or say _something_ that defended herself, but nothing rose on her tongue.

She just stood there, in shock.

“I’m sorry. Really, Rae.” He shook his head, genuine guilt in his own expression. He ached for her in a way almost no one ever had. “I’m so sorry. I know shouldn’t have kept it from you. I know that I… I know what this means, and I should have said something sooner.”

“Yes.” Her voice was barely above a whisper, and she shoved her hands into her sweater to keep them from shaking. She didn’t want him to see her so weak, afraid of ghosts that hid in the shadows of her mind. “You should have _told me_ , Dick. You know… you know what this means. You know what this _is_. This is… it’s _dangerous._ You should have said _something_. I should have been aware-”

“I know.” He cringed and took a step back, not wanting to cut her off but not knowing what else to do. “I… _I know_ , Raven. I’m sorry. Really. I just… I didn’t want to see you break apart like last time. It nearly destroyed everyone on the team, and it damn near killed you. I didn’t want to see you become a shell of something you weren’t, just to accept your fate - like you had no other options when faced with this.” He shook his head, his breath coming out in one grunt. “And I didn’t want to see you give up. I couldn’t bear to see that again.”

“That’s not an excuse.” She glared at him, her eyes narrowing. There was fire burning in her, boiling in the pit of her stomach and she wanted to lash out. She wanted to scream and curse, or at least throw some kind of fit, but she somehow kept herself pulled together. “You should have _told me_ , Dick. This is about _me_. About what _happened to me_.”

“I know that too. Trust me, I _know_.” He ran his hand through his hair, his head tilting back on his shoulders. “I was just trying to figure it out soon. Or at least, figure it out before it became a problem. I wanted to come at it with a level head and a _plan_. If I came to you and we couldn’t handle it together, I… I don’t know what I would do. You’re half the glue that holds me together, Raven.” He paused again, his shoulders falling in defeat. “But, you’re right, I should have said something. I shouldn’t have kept it from you.”

Raven snorted, the sound flat between them. “It’s too late for saying something. Cat’s out of the bag now.”

“Please at least understand what I’m trying to say.” He finally looked at her again, expression darkening. “I know it was stupid of me to think I could protect you, or that I should try to do so without you knowing, but… you’re my best friend. If something happened to you, something I _couldn’t_ bring you back from, I… I don’t know what I’d do. I’d probably lose it all over again.” He forced out a bark of humorless laughter, his eyes almost hollow. “And honestly, sometimes I feel like you’re the only one I can talk to about things like this. I think sometimes you’re the only one who really understands.”

She shook her head, the fear spreading through her like a poison from a bite. Her limbs were starting to feel heavy, and whatever angry fight she wanted to start with Dick seemed to die in the pit of her stomach. It wouldn’t do her any good to fight with him over this. Yes, she was mad - _furious_ , actually. She wanted the fires of hell to burn around them. But… she also understood what he was doing. She didn’t _agree_ with it, but she understood it. Gods, he was such an _ass_ sometimes.

Letting go of a sigh, her weight shifted back on her heels, and she pushed her shock and emotions as deep as they would go. She would sort them out later, but right now there needed to be real action and communication, and she needed to have them with a level head.

Her mouth pressed into a hard line and she continued to watch him. “I’m going to be mad at you for a while-”

He cringed, but nodded. “You have every right.”

“-but… you’re right, we need to come up with a plan before we do anything. What do you know?”

“As much as you do, honestly. Something having to do with Slade and the mark of Scath. That’s all I know, all I could try to piece together from my nightmare.” He offered her a weak shrug, and she saw the circles under his eyes again, as if he was stretching thin right before her. “That’s why I was hoping Red X could help out, dig a little deeper. He’s not exactly _good_ , but he’s not bad either. I figured if there was anyone we could trust to fish out some information we couldn’t get our hands on, it would be him.”

Raven nodded in agreement. “He’s gray.”

Dick’s smile tugged at the edge of his mouth again. “You mean _your informant?_ ”

“I was just offering an observation of Red X, nothing more.” Her expression turned blank, and she lifted an eyebrow. The _last_ thing Dick needed to know was anything about her convoluted feelings towards Jason. “We have new information, we have that Slade is recruiting low level criminals and nobodies to work with him, but where does that lead us?”

“In another circle, honestly.” Dicks shoulders sunk again and he sighed, rubbing at the back of his neck. “It could be anything. It could be that he’s raising an army. It could be that he’s decided to recruit a salesforce _for_ Scath. There’s nothing that points to a definitive answer, and we’re running around trying to figure out something we’re not even sure of. We’re not any closer to figuring this out than we were weeks ago, it’s just now we have more information to sift through.”

Raven ran her finger over the bridge of her nose, trying to ward off a sudden headache. Fear and anger were trying to swarm inside her, burning her with white-hot cold. She wanted to crawl under the covers of her bed and sleep for years, if only so she could feel like she was ready to deal with this. Taking a deep breath, she let it out slowly and met Dick’s stare. “I’ll reach out to _my informant_ in a few days, and see if he’s got anything new. He mentioned he would keep looking over the next few days.”

“Okay…” He paused, the silence heavy, and shifted his weight, staring at her.

Raven glanced over at him before starting down the street again. She could feel his eyes settle on her shoulders, watching every movement like she was about to morph into something else entirely. Seconds slid by and she felt him catch up with her, slowing his strides to match her own. Clenching her jaw, she glanced out of the corner of her eye at him. “Look, I’m fine. _I_ haven’t had dreams, nothing out of the ordinary has happened to me. And, I don’t know why the dreams are affecting you and not me. As soon as I know something, I will tell you.”

Dick scratched at the line of his jaw, sheepish. “Am I that obvious?”

The tension in her shoulders eased and she sighed. “I’m just used to the questions by now.”  

Before Dick said anything else, his communicator beeped loudly in an alert. Seconds later, Raven’s followed. They snapped them open and stared down into the image of Starfire and Garfield looking panicked.

“Dudes! We have a _serious problem!_ ”

Behind him, Raven could see that strange man from the bowling alley, the one that Jason had been tailing, _glowing_. And not just _glowing_ , but lit up with the marks of Scath. The marks of Trigon -  of a heritage she had worked so hard to bury. Every bone in her body turned to lead, and her blood ran cold. Raven stared at the image, feeling like time was sliding to a standstill, that there was nothing she could do but watch in horror as that man took steps closer to her friends. Starfire’s hands were alight with her power, and there was the very specific sound of Cyborg powering up his cannon.

Raven swore under her breath, fighting against the panic that was threatening to swallow her.

“We’ve got to go.” Dick looked over at Raven for just a fraction of a second before looking back into his communicator. “We’re coming, Gar. Just… just stay safe, keep him occupied, and don’t do anything stupid. Remember there’s a _human person_ under that. Okay?”

Garfield snarled. “But, _Raven…_ and _Trigon_. Dick! You can’t-”

“A _person_ , Gar. We’ll be there in just a few minutes.” Dick snapped the communicator shut and turned towards Raven. “Are you okay?”

“No.” She knew better than to try and lie to Dick, he would always manage to pull it out of her anyway. She took a slow breath, shaking again. “No. I’m _not_. We _locked him up_. He’s in another dimension, or _at least_ he’s _supposed_ to be in another dimension. Trapped for all eternity, and yet…” She waved vaguely at his communicator. “ _How?_ He’s not supposed to be here, Dick. He’s not supposed to be on the plane of existence.”

“I don’t know.” Dick looked as frightened and panicked as she was, and that was _not_ a good sign. He ran a hand over his face and cursed. “I don’t know, Rae. I know what we did years ago, but that… that’s not a lie. That’s his magic-”

“I _know_ it’s his magic, I can _feel_ it.” Raven ran her fingers through her hair, wanting out tear out the strands as she rocked back and forth on her heels. “Dick…”

“It’s alright, Rae. I know this sucks-”

She whipped her head at him and glared. “That doesn’t even _begin_ to cover my emotions.”

“-but I also know you’re too strong to let him get his fingers in you again.” Dick took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He took a step closer to her, being as supportive as he could without invading her space. “I know you can handle this more than anyone of us, because you know how to and you’re strong enough to. You’ve handled this before, and you’re stronger now than you were then.”

Her shoulders fell, and she was suddenly weary and worn. Raven tried to reach out and grab all the little bits and pieces of her good senses and pull them back inside her. It wasn’t going to do her any good to panic or be afraid, and Dick was _right_. She knew how to handle this. She was strong enough to bring him down once before, she could do it again if she had to. And, besides, this one person didn’t represent that her father was coming back, he could be nothing more than a fanatic. Raven breathed in through her nose and closed her eyes, taking a few seconds to count backwards from ten, if only to find herself on solid ground again.

Her eyes opened and she looked ahead, past Dick’s shoulder. “I can do this. Let’s go.”

“Okay. Come on, we have friends to save.”

Dick nodded, and they took off down the sidewalk. It felt like miles between them, but their trip was less than a few blocks, and they were both sprinting at top speed. Coming to the part that bordered the bay surrounding Titan Tower, Raven could see the teenage boy standing in front of her friends, haphazardly perched on the railing around the seawall. He was all lanky arms and legs, looking more like he’d been assembled with a bunch of mismatched sticks than born that way.

The mark of Scath on his forehead had burned through his flat-billed baseball cap, shining like a beacon to Raven. She stared at him, and he turned to her, his movements awkward and sluggish, as if he didn’t know how to use his own body. There was a weighted silence as he stared at her, head rolling from one side to another, his eyes wild as he watched her.

“ _The gem._ ”

Raven cringed. Gods she hated that term.

“It’s _Raven_.”

“I am here to deliver a message!” His arms lifted like limp sandbags, heavy and boneless. He reached towards her before throwing his arms to the sky again. “A message from my master. A message for you.”

Raven’s lips twitched, trying to stave off her irrational fear for just a few moments longer. “Which _is?_ ”

“The gem will rise again in blood and flame.”

Raven’s stomach twisted into a painful knot and she took a slow breath through her nose. She needed to keep her head. She needed to keep her head. _She needed to keep her head_. Her jaw locked with an audible _click_ , and she stared at him, trying to keep herself from being sick. Behind her, she could feel the shocked press of her friends, none of them knowing how close they should be, or what their next steps were. They had handled this before, but none of it had gone according to plan.

“In blood and flame she will rise.”

Raven’s hands clenched into fists and she took another step closer to him. She watched as his head lolled back on his shoulders, rolling back and forth as his eyes widened and drool spilled down the corners of his mouth.

“In darkness he will be born.”

“ _Who?_ ”

Dick’s voice shocked her out of her daze and she watched as the kid’s posture faltered, as his balance rocked too far backwards. The marks of Scath were now starting to burn through his oversized jacket, ripping through the nylon as flames licked up and down his body. They were warnings to her, words and curses that threatened every part of her entire being, and this was meant to show her that _he_ was always in control. She would never, _ever_ be rid of his stain, as long as she lived.

“Who will be born?”

The kids head twisted to the side, eyes opening just a fraction to stare at Dick. “Our savior. Our bringer of flames. Our king to shake the light from the world.” Ribbons of burned jacket were drifting down off him, leaving his skin burning in marked flame. There was a pause as he took a breath, lifted his body up as high as he could, and turned his vacant stare towards Raven. “Humanity will fall.”

“No!”

Raven reached out just as he toppled backward, the weight of his practically boneless form careening from his perch on the seawall. She jumped forward her hand nearly wrapping around his wrist before his fingers slid from her grasp. Raven slammed her eyes shut, waiting for the sickening _splash_ and crunch of bones, but there was nothing but the soft brush of wind against her cheek, followed by a menacing whisper.

“ _I think you owe me an explanation_.”

Her eyes jolted open and she looked to her left to see Red X, standing next to her, heaving the limp of the teenage kid onto the pavement. He was masked, so Raven couldn’t _quite_ see his face, but there was enough anger radiating off of him that she got the full message of his emotions. He was _definitely_ not happy. The team surrounded them both slowly, as if they were approaching a dangerous animal, although Dick looked as though someone had slapped him across the face.

Dick shifted, unsure of what to say. “Red X?”

“Don’t get your panties in a bunch, Princess. I’m just here to pick up favors from my two favorite birds.” He motioned to the limp, nearly naked form on the sidewalk. “I can’t imagine what you’d need _that guy_ for, but he seemed important. So, consider him signed, sealed delivered.”

Raven felt his eyes turn toward her, and she desperately tried to think of something to say, but there was nothing. At least nothing that wouldn’t give away their relationship… or _whatever_ it was between them. Heat curled up her neck and she looked up into his mask, uncertainty suddenly weighing her down.

“Dude. You. I mean… you’re… you’re not like a _bad guy_ , right?”

Raven’s head tipped forward and she buried her face in her hands. Eloquent as always, Garfield.

“No.” Red X crossed his arms over his chest and regarded the whole team carefully. Raven could feel him weigh his options, unsure if he should stay and chat or run. A quip and a dash was his usual M. O. but this was a whole different scenario. And now, he was personally invested in it. He rocked back on his heels and turned towards Dick, his stare trained on him. “Not since I last checked. Plus, I still have my honorary Titan communicator. I keep it on the shelf next to my other rewards.”

Dick groaned, embarrassed. “I should have never given that to you.”

“Awe come on, Bird Boy. The gesture was sweet.”  

Garfield’s shoulders finally relaxed and he let go of a relieved sigh. “Whew! Thank _god_. I don’t know what we would do if we had to fight another bad guy. I mean… we didn’t really fight this one, and then there was the whole thing with…” He trailed off and looked over at Raven, suddenly sheepish. “Sorry. I… I shouldn’t have said anything, Rae.”

“No. No… it’s fine.” She shifted looking at the boy’s body. He was breathing, but it was ragged, and she could see his eyes dart wildly behind his eyelids. He was coming down from some kind of high, either a drug or a spell… she couldn’t tell what, but she could see him crashing. She knelt down next to him, watching the marks on his skin still burn. If she touched him…

“You should get him to a hospital.”

She looked up to see Red X’s mask looking down at her, the drop in his voice chilling and serious. He was glaring at her behind his mask, and she didn’t blame him.

“And don’t touch him, Raven. If those marks are enough to worry you, I’d probably no _touch_ them.” Red X cocked his head to the side. “For safety, _duh_.”

“We’ll take him. I’d rather… _not_ be here for whatever conversation is about to happen between you two anyway.” Garfield transformed into a horse, and Cy picked up the boy’s body draping him over Gar’s back.

“Don’t… don’t kill each other, okay?” Cy looked between Dick and Red X and Raven, before shaking his head and starting down the sidewalk, mumbling more to himself than anyone else.

Starfire stayed quiet, off to the side, unsure of what she should do next. Dick took a few, cautious steps forward, obviously trying to think of something - _anything_ \- to say to him, but silence was their only companion. Moments ticked by between them, and everyone waited for someone else to make the first comment. Raven’s shoulders dropped in exhaustion, and she buried her head in her hands waiting for-  

“So… anyone wanna tell me exactly what’s going on?”

  
  
  


 


End file.
